OCD Late Edition: Death of the 'Net, Mac is Back, & Google Booze

It's too bad Anne Hathaway found a new man. I'll find a way to destroy him. If you don't get my Rick Sutcliffe reference, here's the conversation (via MSNBC):

The trio first talked about golf and actor Bill Murray, who was with Sutcliffe at the game. The conversation turned to Sutcliffe’s daughter, who, the pitcher said, has been accepted to Harvard Medical School.

That’s when Sutcliffe began to meander.

“She’s on her way to Africa tomorrow,” Sutcliffe said. “How about that? Over there on one of those missions, man. George Clooney — you been reading about all that, you been seeing that?”

To which Vasgersian responded with surprise: “George Clooney?”

“Yeah, he’s up there with the Congress, he’s trying to get everybody to go over there and solve that thing.”

Sutcliffe then said: “I’m getting yelled at from Bill Murray in the back. I need to go. I’d much rather hang with you guys.”

Grant thanked Sutcliffe for joining them.

“Mud, you’re the best, man,” Sutcliffe replied. “Anybody on Earth that doesn’t like Mark Grant, they’ve got problems.”

Sutcliffe then asked Vasgersian, “Matty, what are you still doing here in San Diego?”

Vasgersian tried to steer the conversation to baseball, but Sutcliffe persisted.

“No, no, no, Matty — everybody on Earth has been trying to steal you — the Dodgers, the Cubs, ESPN. What are you still doing here?”

Sutcliffe’s microphone apparently was cut off then, because a voice in the background can be heard saying: “They turned it off.”

• Hey, Rick Sutcliffe, Matt Vasgersian finally got a real broadcasting deal with the MLB Network!
• AT&T adds a cap just like Comcast and Time Warner. Nice knowing you, the internet.
• Mac is Back (in a ridiculous YouTube video)! My favorite part is when he smokes a cigarette at like :40. Is this a joke?
• Anne Hathaway has a new boyfriend. Time for me to set him up for fraud charges!
• Hopefully Obama wins… or our political celebrities might leave us! Tim Robbins almost didn’t get to vote!
• Admit it… Heroes isn’t so hot anymore. Here’s how it could be better.
• Too bad the Presidential Election is only once every four years. Because it’s the only time SNL gets good ratings.
• King of the Hill might not be dead thanks to ABC
• Google is getting tipsy with beer ads

SIDE NOTE ON THE ELECTION: Why does CBS even attempt legitimate Election coverage? I was just watching thinking that it might be neutral but it was just unbearably bad. They lost audio for both of their remote interview subjects while I was watching. Viacom also owns Comedy Central. Just bite the bullet and put Jon Stewart on network television for a night. He'd get wayyyy better ratings. Plus, nobody even takes Katie Couric seriously...

Hot Girls Love MexiKen (Mario Lopez)

My friend (and Playboy Cyber Girl) Brittany Sylvanowicz recently attended the Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion. I guess my invite got lost in the mail. In any case, the Mansion is probably a great place to see beautiful women and celebrities that are trying to get laid. One of these such guests was Mario Lopez, who we call MexiKen.

By the time this picture was taken, Mario Lopez had already had sex 42 times with 25 different women

Here's Brittany's account of the meeting:

i was walking through the playboy mansion and say mario lopez swarmed by a million girls, all wanting to take pictures with him. i started freaking out because i was so excited to see him. i never had a crush on him before that, so it was shocking to me that i was so excited. i asked mario if he would mind taking a picture with me, he said sure. after we took our picture i said "i seriously love you... like i just love you." he held my hand and said "awww thank you, what's your name?" with those gorgeous dimples of his. i told him my name and said "i seriously am in love with you." then more girls took pictures with him and that was it :(

Clearly, she's not a real MexiKen fan. She does not mention ABDC, Extra, "sex addiction", steroids, or A Chorus Line. I know how Mario feels though -- women are often shocked at how excited they are when they see me too. But instead of warmly acknowledging them, I usually try to lock in with some intense eye contact while I lick my lips. Then it's just a matter of beating them to the door when they try to run away. Done and done.

OCD Eff the AM: DVRs, Paris Hilton, and TV Sex

The first edition of Eff the AM is skewed towards entertainment news. All of them (minus the Bradley Effect) illustrate how America is concurrently awesome and ridiculous at the same time. I personally prefer Shelley from My New BFF.

• America has the most DVRs
• Simpsons receives its highest ratings in 5 seasons. "The fourth episode of the show's 20th season played to approximately 12.5 million viewers and was well-received by critics and fans."
• Familiarize yourself with the Bradley Effect. Hopefully, we'll never have to hear about it again after today.
• BFF on GGW? Corrie from Paris Hilton's My New BFF was on Girls Gone Wild.
• TV sex leads to real sex (and pregnancy). Who would've ever thought that being a good parent and controlling what your kids watch directly correlates with teen pregnancy?