OCD Breakdown: 5 Signs of a Rapist

As I shamefully admitted earlier, I picked up the new Cosmo because it had an insane feature: "5 Signs a Guy is Capable of Rape". My thoughts were that the reasons would be either entirely too obvious or fear-inducing garbage.`I made my predictions half-jokingly in the previous post on how Cosmo's "undetected rapist" works. They're not that far off.

He carefully plans his attacks Well, if he's carefully planning his attacks how the hell would you find out? So yeah, any guy could be planning to rape you at any time. Be on the look out. Their main piece of advice is to "never go off alone with someone you barely know".
He is likely a serial rapist Oh, right. He's going to tell you he's a serial rapist. They say to look out for a disconnect between actions and words -- I'll give them that one. But they sandwich that between pointers like not getting drunk and not hanging out with "creepy" guys.
He holds stereotypical view of men and women This is pretty much telling women that they should be on the look out for guys that say shit like they're from the 60's. So if a guy calls you a "broad", it's time to bail. This line is a gem: "If his pals are telling sexist jokes, making fun of women, commenting on breasts [then] he's probably doing it too -- just not in front of you." That is not acceptable behavior, but that doesn't make this group a bunch of rapists. Do women ever tell sexist jokes, make fun of men, or comment on a man's ass or crotch? Rapists... all of them.
He uses alcohol and/or drugs as a tool Oh, really? They just combine the points of not being drunk and not going somewhere alone with a strange guy.
He uses psychological domination more than brute force You're all right if he's just pushing you around. There's no real advice here. Just a reminder that rapist is not right in the head.

I'm happy to conclude that I'm not a nonstranger rapist. I'm going to have to stop steepling my fingers like one though.

Am I Capable of Rape?

The new Cosmo has a story about "5 Signs a Guy is Capable of Rape". While sexual assault is nothing to joke about, Cosmo itself IS a joke. There's no way that this article is actually going to teach a woman anything useful. If anything, it will just make them more paranoid. Yesterday, I hit up the drug store to buy some crack -- I mean sugar-free Red Bull and saw this magazine at the counter. Today, I broke down and bought it. I'm yet to read the article, but I will try to predict the "5 Signs":

1. Male
2. Heterosexual
3. Bigger Than a Woman (courtesy of Mangan)
4. Drunk (or any variation of fucked up)
5. Crazy (or any variation of insane)

I will report back after I read the article to see if I was right. In the mean time, here's the cover: