OCD Weekend Edition: I Can't Feel My Face!

In case you were wondering what athletes waving a hand in front of their face was all about... it was popularized by DeShawn Stevenson on the Wizards who saw Tony Yayo do it (at about :30) who says 50 Cent's son Marques actually made it up. This is "I can't feel my face" whereas John Cena says "you can't see me". Now you know.

DeShawn Stevenson can't feel his face!

• Prince William is starting to look old.
• Sex and the City II is coming. That was quick.
• Lost is back Wednesday January 21st.
• The World Series of Poker is on a 117 day hiatus so ESPN can air the final two players going heads up for the bracelet on Monday. But it won't be live, it'll be "same-day" coverage. Huh?
• McCain will be on Leno Tuesday. McCain and Palin... The Morning After
• Is Oprah pulling the plug in 2011?
• 30 seconds commercials during the upcoming Oscars cost about $1.6 million.
• Anybody want to guess what's going on here? My two theories: election party or that weird dude is a male prostitute.
• Stephon Marbury: "One day I might be able to buy the Knicks." If they keep paying him $22 million to do nothing, he might be right.
• Apple now the #2 provider of smartphones worldwide behind Nokia.
• UPDATE: Obamas will not get dog until Spring. Big news. Also, Willie Williams would respect Obama's taste in rides.

Richard Pryor is the first black President

OCD Late Edition: Hayden Panettiere Shows Some Skin

She's all grown up and apparently choosing some pretty racy outfits. Is this what all girls wear to Madonna concerts? The Heroes star wore this jacket and pants combo to Dodger Stadium earlier this week. Nice pants.

• Hayden Panettierre dresses like a floozy. Awesome.
  
• Don't feel so bad about '04, Eminem. Voter turnout was the same this year as it was four years ago.
• HBO to produce Barack Obama documentary. Greta Van Susteren granted first post-election Palin interview.
• Testosterone makes women want to bone... and possibly gives them breast cancer.
• Bullies experience schadenfreude. Thanks for confirming the obvious, science!
• More boys are being born with genital defects, learning disabilities, autism and Tourette's syndrome. Don't worry -- my sperm is fine, ladies.
• It sucks when your kid looks like a dog. (Thanks, Eugene)
• THE MUSTACHE IS IN... Brad Pitt is rocking a 'stache.
• This "purple stuff" is called Drank.
• This is old... but it's still worth looking at Katy Perry's breasts.

OCD Eff the AM: Kurt Warner, Oprah, and Maradona

Sure, I had a team named "Kurt Warner = Donkey Feces" when I picked him in the first round a few years ago... but I like the guy. I just think it's funny that his "story" is no longer "from grocery check out line to NFL QB" ... it's "washed up QB that fumbled every snap is now good again". Keep in mind... he already has two NFL MVPs and one Super Bowl MVP. Also, the Maradona quotes are worth reading.

Maradona <3 Cocaine

• Who was that guy in front of Oprah? The answer is Sam Perry.
• Michelle Obama to appear on Vogue's March cover... maybe.
• Kurt Warner is the clear MVP. (Thanks, John)
• YouTube to add full length movies?
• ABC to add 2 NYPD shows... in addition to Life on Mars. One is about a horror writer who helps police solve crimes. Really?
• RAC remix of The Black Ghosts - Repetition Kills You. I am a HUGE fan of The Black Ghosts. Frontman Simon Lord is the former vocalist for Simian.
• Smokin' Aces prequel is in the works. Why?
• Maradona has some awesome quotes (at the bottom). (Thanks, Danny)

OCD Eff the AM: Stallone seeks a Razzie

Sylvester Stallone is gunning for his second Worst Actor of the Century Razzie. His new movie sounds like it could be one of the worst movie of all time. The Expendables was written and will be directed by Stallone. He will star in the movie alongside Jason Statham while they are in negotiations with Jet Li. Maybe they can try to sign DMX or a Wayans brother while they're at it.

• The Expendables will start filming in February. Is Jason Statham done with the whole "career" thing?
• How awesome is Google? You can use Google Audio Indexing to search for words in videos. Right now, it only searches videos with politicians. Somewhat entertaining: My Friends, Joe the Plumber, and Yes We Can
  
• Android is jailbroken already...
• Murdoch: WSJ.com makes around $200 million split between ads and paid subscriptions. Impressive.
• Stalk people with 123people!
• It's mustache time. Check out 20 of the best celebrity 'staches. I'm growing a mustache for Movember. Donate to my mustache growing for Movember!
• Spain denies asylum for Bin Laden son.
• The genetic blueprint for cancer has been discovered
• Weed is now legal by prescription in Michigan and decriminalized in Massachusetts

Please donate to my awesome mustache. The money goes to the Prostate Cancer Foundation.

OCD Late Edition: Keyshawn, Obama Fashion, and The G Word

Keyshawn finally got a reality TV show, but it's certainly not what I expected. The man who brought you such comments as Ronde Barber "is an Uncle Tom" and Shannon Sharpe "looks like a horse" will star in a new reality series on A&E. No, it's not about his job as an NFL analyst (although it is a small part of the show). The show is about the Keyshawn starting his own interior design business. Is this supposed to appeal to men somehow? I'll give it a shot because I love horrible reality TV. I'm just going to hope that it's Keyshawn Johnson struggling to stay in the black and eventually failing while throwing out some inappropriate comments along the way. Just give me the damn decorations! I'll bet it gets a second season... any takers?

This was a previous instance where Keyshawn shamed himself

• Keyshawn Johnson will have an interior design show on A&E.
• Newsweek says that both Obama and McCain were hacked by a "foreign entity" (read: China or Russia). Also, Sarah Palin is a shop-a-holic. (Thanks, Paul)
• Print media is not dead! People actually lined up to buy newspapers... but only because Barack won.
• Nobody's happier than Maria Pinto and Narciso Rodriguez. Pinto's sales soared 45% after a Michelle Obama mention.
• Is the word "gay" a slur? The Simpsons doesn't think so.
• Russell Brand will play Jack Sparrow's brother. Is anybody else shocked by the demand for Brand's "work"? I think he's funny but...
• The King of the Hill saga continues. King of the Hill re-runs will be on Adult Swim. Just like Futurama and Family Guy... before they came back.

OCD Eff the AM: USA Chants, Katie Couric, and Holograms

I voted yesterday. It took me about 10 minutes and was directly on my walk from my apartment to the subway. My voting machine looked like it was made in the 1940's and it was quit confusing. Hopefully it counted! My friend told me that his polling place was the Old Fish Hatchery in San Marcos. The line took him 3 hours and apparently he drank beer in line (OCD does not advocate this). Below the links are three sweet "USA chant" videos. Cheers to democracy!

• Here's the transcript of Obama's Victory Speech.
  
• Katie Couric does not know her commercial references. Eveready Bunny? Huh?
• Last night, CNN had a correspondent in-studio VIA HOLOGRAM. The problem? My television isn't 3D.
  
• "Clearly, all of us can learn something from this guy." Thanks for the tip, Brad. This story is both disgusting and hilarious.
• The New Yorker releases their digital edition. Good thinking... butt not there yet.
  
• Hopefully nobody actually fell for this. "But college told me the election was moved to tomorrow!"
• If you didn't know, my former roommate Alex coined the nickname MexiKen for Mario Lopez.

Madison Halloween 2006 USA Chant
I like this one because it makes no sense

Hoyas USA chant outside White House
More genuine and awkward... every USA chant must come to an end with "woos"

blackhawks USA chant

I once started a rhythmic clap at an assembly in elementary school... still haven't topped that

OCD Late Edition: Death of the 'Net, Mac is Back, & Google Booze

It's too bad Anne Hathaway found a new man. I'll find a way to destroy him. If you don't get my Rick Sutcliffe reference, here's the conversation (via MSNBC):

The trio first talked about golf and actor Bill Murray, who was with Sutcliffe at the game. The conversation turned to Sutcliffe’s daughter, who, the pitcher said, has been accepted to Harvard Medical School.

That’s when Sutcliffe began to meander.

“She’s on her way to Africa tomorrow,” Sutcliffe said. “How about that? Over there on one of those missions, man. George Clooney — you been reading about all that, you been seeing that?”

To which Vasgersian responded with surprise: “George Clooney?”

“Yeah, he’s up there with the Congress, he’s trying to get everybody to go over there and solve that thing.”

Sutcliffe then said: “I’m getting yelled at from Bill Murray in the back. I need to go. I’d much rather hang with you guys.”

Grant thanked Sutcliffe for joining them.

“Mud, you’re the best, man,” Sutcliffe replied. “Anybody on Earth that doesn’t like Mark Grant, they’ve got problems.”

Sutcliffe then asked Vasgersian, “Matty, what are you still doing here in San Diego?”

Vasgersian tried to steer the conversation to baseball, but Sutcliffe persisted.

“No, no, no, Matty — everybody on Earth has been trying to steal you — the Dodgers, the Cubs, ESPN. What are you still doing here?”

Sutcliffe’s microphone apparently was cut off then, because a voice in the background can be heard saying: “They turned it off.”

• Hey, Rick Sutcliffe, Matt Vasgersian finally got a real broadcasting deal with the MLB Network!
• AT&T adds a cap just like Comcast and Time Warner. Nice knowing you, the internet.
• Mac is Back (in a ridiculous YouTube video)! My favorite part is when he smokes a cigarette at like :40. Is this a joke?
• Anne Hathaway has a new boyfriend. Time for me to set him up for fraud charges!
• Hopefully Obama wins… or our political celebrities might leave us! Tim Robbins almost didn’t get to vote!
• Admit it… Heroes isn’t so hot anymore. Here’s how it could be better.
• Too bad the Presidential Election is only once every four years. Because it’s the only time SNL gets good ratings.
• King of the Hill might not be dead thanks to ABC
• Google is getting tipsy with beer ads

SIDE NOTE ON THE ELECTION: Why does CBS even attempt legitimate Election coverage? I was just watching thinking that it might be neutral but it was just unbearably bad. They lost audio for both of their remote interview subjects while I was watching. Viacom also owns Comedy Central. Just bite the bullet and put Jon Stewart on network television for a night. He'd get wayyyy better ratings. Plus, nobody even takes Katie Couric seriously...

Hot Girls Love MexiKen (Mario Lopez)

My friend (and Playboy Cyber Girl) Brittany Sylvanowicz recently attended the Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion. I guess my invite got lost in the mail. In any case, the Mansion is probably a great place to see beautiful women and celebrities that are trying to get laid. One of these such guests was Mario Lopez, who we call MexiKen.

By the time this picture was taken, Mario Lopez had already had sex 42 times with 25 different women

Here's Brittany's account of the meeting:

i was walking through the playboy mansion and say mario lopez swarmed by a million girls, all wanting to take pictures with him. i started freaking out because i was so excited to see him. i never had a crush on him before that, so it was shocking to me that i was so excited. i asked mario if he would mind taking a picture with me, he said sure. after we took our picture i said "i seriously love you... like i just love you." he held my hand and said "awww thank you, what's your name?" with those gorgeous dimples of his. i told him my name and said "i seriously am in love with you." then more girls took pictures with him and that was it :(

Clearly, she's not a real MexiKen fan. She does not mention ABDC, Extra, "sex addiction", steroids, or A Chorus Line. I know how Mario feels though -- women are often shocked at how excited they are when they see me too. But instead of warmly acknowledging them, I usually try to lock in with some intense eye contact while I lick my lips. Then it's just a matter of beating them to the door when they try to run away. Done and done.

OCD Eff the AM: DVRs, Paris Hilton, and TV Sex

The first edition of Eff the AM is skewed towards entertainment news. All of them (minus the Bradley Effect) illustrate how America is concurrently awesome and ridiculous at the same time. I personally prefer Shelley from My New BFF.

• America has the most DVRs
• Simpsons receives its highest ratings in 5 seasons. "The fourth episode of the show's 20th season played to approximately 12.5 million viewers and was well-received by critics and fans."
• Familiarize yourself with the Bradley Effect. Hopefully, we'll never have to hear about it again after today.
• BFF on GGW? Corrie from Paris Hilton's My New BFF was on Girls Gone Wild.
• TV sex leads to real sex (and pregnancy). Who would've ever thought that being a good parent and controlling what your kids watch directly correlates with teen pregnancy?

OCD Late Edition: The Election, Heroes, and Bill O'Reilly

Unfortunately, this post is not about how The Election, Heroes, and Bill O'Reilly are related. That would be an amazing post though. The OCD Late Edition will be a new effort to post on a near-daily basis on this site. The common thread will be that there is no common thread -- except for it's all stuff that I care about.

• The Heroes Showrunners have been FIRED. This is a sign that NBC knows that the show is dragging ass lately. I told my friend John that I could see this show making a "graceful" transition to Sci-Fi after a couple more seasons. NBC Universal owns both NBC and Sci-Fi.
  
• Watch the Election (and know what you're talking about): Election Tools #1 and Election Tools #2
• Being a jackass has caught up to O'Reilly. Also, did you know that Bill O'Reilly uses a vibrator on himself? I feel the need to bring that up as much as possible.
• Joaquin Phoenix is going to retire from acting. Who knew that actors retired? My two initial theories are that he 1) will start a porno career or 2) he will go the way of Harry Connick Jr. and release a jazz CD.
• Boondock Saints will have a sequel
• Pepsi might have a new logo (in addition to a new marketing/PR scheme)