OCD Poll: Too Skinny?

Riding the V train this morning, I saw some extreme hipster fashion. I am 100% against skinny jeans and I could NEVER rock a pair like this. I think these are made for a 12 year-old girl except they're on a 25 year-old dude. Even if I chose to wear them, I don't know if I could physically get my body (and huge junk) into them. Take the poll below and let me know if these skinny jeans are TOO SKINNY:

He may have crammed his penis into those jeans, but no denim can ever contain his shame

OCD Snooze SkillZ

OCD Quote of the day 7/24

"Stanley Kobierowski, 34, was arrested in Providence, R.I., after smashing his car into an electronic message sign. According to state police, he allegedly blew a .489 and .491 on a Breathalyzer at the scene. That's more than six times the state's legal limit. He was brought to a local hospital and held for two days until sober enough to be arraigned, police said."

Stanley Kobierowski is a bad bad man. When I was in Cabo last March, we were getting somewhat sauced and one of the Cali kids had his own breathalyzer. My friend Alex gave it a whirl and he blew a .300. We both assumed this was wayyyy too high and that he would be crawling if he actually had a .300 BAC. But .489 is just a new level of insanity. That guy should be dead right now. The feat amazes me for two reasons 1) his body didn’t shut down before he reached that BAC and 2) he was able to drink that much volume of liquid. Let’s say he did all of his damage in a 6-8 hour span. I bet he drank between 20-30 beers in that time. Take the poll below and weigh in:


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What's Worse Than Getting Caught With A Tranny?

You'd probably get a lot of different answers for that question. But ask Eddie Murphy and he'd probably tell you Meet Dave. Meet Dave is the new (soon-to-be-gone) Eddie Murphy movie about 100 martians that come to Earth in a human-shaped spaceship... that looks like Eddie Murphy. It's your classic fish-out-of-water, martian-comes-to-Earth-and-falls-in-love piece of garbage. So pretty much Earth Girls Are Easy minus the entertainment value.

I refuse to acknowledge that 80's fashion is back until I see somebody wearing a black and blue paisley leather suit with leather gloves and a silk scarf. Stop kidding yourself.
What does that have to do with a tranny? Not much. But you may remember that back in 1997, Eddie Murphy was stopped by police with a transvestite prostitute. We all know how that feels. The following months were a PR nightmare for the star that hurt the opening of his next movie. Holy Man opened 5th at the box office on a little over 2000 screens and made $5.1mn -- which is bad but not horrible given the situation. Holy Man also scored a miserable 10% on Rotten Tomatoes.

How did Meet Dave fare in its opening weekend? The short answer: "Eddie Murphy should stick to voice acting". This crappy Earth Girls Are Easy ripoff was showing on about 3000 screens (50% more than Holy Man) and finished SEVENTH with $5.25mn. OK, I know it's harder to score a hit in the summer... but he couldn't do better than Steve Carell's sloppy fourths (Get Smart has been out for a month). This won't gross more than $25mn domestically and Eddie Murphy movies haul in $104mn on average. I mean, I'd expect a piss poor performance like that out of somebody like Jason Statham... but Eddie Murphy? I've offered similar advice to Leelee Sobieski; FIRE YOUR AGENT, EDDIE!

Old School Miami Slice

This shirt is awesome. I'm not a huge Kimbo fan, but I can at least appreciate the artistic value. I would like to see Kimbo get destroyed by Emilianenko... but that will never happen. Check out this sweet shirt:

Don't worry... I'd cut the sleeves off

I DID NOT Bone This Girl (Dorcas)

Contrary to what "the internet" may tell you, Official Chris Duncan did not have sex with this girl Dorcas. I don't know a girl named Dorcas and I don't think I've ever been to St. Louis. Given the opportunity, I would try to disappoint this girl sexually ... but that was never possible. I didn't even know who this "Dorcas" person was until I received this facebook message:

SUBJECT: hey....
TIME: July 20 at 1:04pm
did you bone a girl named Dorcas who lives in stl, or was that another Chris Duncan? Just wondering, cause I saw it on thedirty.com

I don't pick up whores in bars -- I solicit them on Craigslist

That lovely tidbit of information is from TheDirty.com -- a site that is penned by a person that calls themselves Nik Richie. His real name is apparently Hooman Karamian as cited by Dirtyscottsdale Discovered. I congratulate him on running a good site, but he seems like a humongous douche (hmmm... that sounds familiar). I posted the picture of "Dorcas" and cropped his logo out of it. The guy jacked photos (personal pictures of some guy and his girlfriend) from Playboy's social network (PlayboyU) and passed them off as interesting content. Not cool.

I was in Scottsdale in February for Super Bowl and I can imagine where this guy comes from. Scottsdale is like the really try-hard version of a big city club scene. There are nice venues, beautiful people, and money -- but there's no real hierarchy to make the snobiness legit. I actually really liked Scottsdale though. But that's probably because I went to Ashley Simpson's event on Wednesday and the Madden Bowl on Thursday (where I feebly attempted to invite Roy Williams to our Playboy Party). Ah, memories... or at least reminders of memories you had they were erased.

A Lucrative New Business

I saw this truck on the street. This has to be one of the most general company names of all time. Also, why is a company called "WEBSITE" driving trucks around? I wonder if there's a company called "BUSINESS" somewhere out there.

It's actually just a child molester van

Let's Get Totally Retro

Here's a video clip of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen doing some dancing. I'm not really sure what this is from or what's really going on. They seem minimally entertaining and like even worse dancers. It's pretty funny how obvious it is that they're reading off of cards. I wonder how many takes it took for them to get the shitty dancing right.

There's something missing from this video... and it's called flava

Andy Dick is a "Wild" Man

By now, almost everybody knows that Andy Dick is a little crazy. However, he confirmed this again by making a scene outside of a Buffalo Wild Wings. The short story is that he was peeing in the parking lot then decided to pull a teenage girl's top down. The resulting search found other drugs in his possession.

Andy Dick is as crazy as the day is long
The most shocking part of this story is that Andy Dick was at BUFFALO WILD WINGS. Shouldn't he be doing drugs at a much nicer establishment? For some reason, I can't help but picture this scene with trucker-people as the innocent bystanders. Also, can anybody explain to me why a performer would just whip it out? It says that Andy Dick has done this twice... K-Ci did it too. What gives?

Should Tim Tebow Rock Crocs?

Today on Every Day Should Be Saturday, there was a picture of Tim Tebow in Thailand. That's not really a big deal... except he's wearing blue and orange Crocs. The question is: does Tim Tebow make up for his ugly ass Crocs with his hot girlfriend?


Crocs or a sex life... you can't have both.

Matt Jones Loves Cocaine

I've always hated Matt Jones -- but it's because he's good. He destroyed Texas single-handedly as a Razorback. I still remember him converting on what was about 3rd and 30 like it was yesterday. I also remember that we finally (and narrowly) took down those bastards the following year.

It wasn't too surprising to hear that Matt Jones was arrested for cutting up coke in a 4Runner.

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) — Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones faces a felony drug charge in his former college town after police say officers found him cutting up cocaine with a credit card Thursday morning.

I went to Fayetteville (pronounced FAY-t-vull) last year for Playboy's Girls of the SEC tour. You have to fly in into NWA (that's Northwest Arkansas) and drive for an hour or so to get there. Our event was at Speakeasy -- which is the one "club" in Fayetteville. Even though we were competing with dollar beers night, we still drew a decent crowd. Having an event in Georgia the next day, I had to drive BACK to NWA at about 4AM (without GPS). Just before I went, some of the Razorback students I had been with fired up the coke party. I did not participate. So yeah, I wasn't too shocked to hear that Matt Jones was all about the llello.

OCD Classic: YOU HURT ME

The guy that breaks down is awesome. In a previous scene, he wore a light blue shirt, with blue shorts, and light blue Crocs. This gem was from the episode of Wife Swap that aired last night. The clip is pretty self-explanatory...

OCD Quote of the Day 7/8: Issues with Hetero Sex

"The majority is gay, but we’ve had issues with hetero sex as well. Families are upset and outraged."- George Price, Superintendent of the National Seashore

This gem is from a recent article about the substantial increase in public sex at the northeastern beaches. Apparently, shoregoers and whale watchers have encountered substantially more hanky panky. The number of incidents has more than tripled from 2007 to 2008. One complaint from 2007 from a New Jersey family claimed that they saw "a large group" of men having "sex in the nude, including oral and anal sex right out in the open." I hear you George Price -- I'm also outraged with my own recent hetero sex issues. But that's another blog post for another time.

Want to be famous by seeing your name on my blog? Email a tip or potential quote of the day to officialchrisduncan@gmail.com.

MGMT and Justice Make Sweet Love

MGMT is awesome. "Electric Feel" is probably my favorite song from the CD Oracular Spectacular (followed by "Kids"). Additionally, I was addicted to Justice for a short time after SXSW. You can ask my roommates. So you can imagine how excited I was when I found out that Justice had remixed "Electric Feel". It's duo on duo action and the result sounds very much like a Justice song. They made the pitch of the vocals a little higher and added a variety of electronica sounds that are prevalent in "cross". Both of these groups are blowing up right now... so download the MGMT - Electric Feel (Justice Remix) and be snobby about it.

Justice side-by-side with MGMT... just like at Playboy's SXSW party

I do find it hilarious that both groups have ambiguous names. Is it em-gee-em-tee? Is it "management"? We work with their PR team for Rock the Rabbit. I've asked them which is correct ... and they don't even know. Then for Justice... "just-iss" or "joo-stees"? They ARE French. In any case, Rolling Stone says "management" and Wikipedia says "joo-stees". Fuck that though -- I'm going with "em-gee-em-tee" and "just-iss".

The Heart-Wrenching Tale of Prince Henry Stout

Last week, the roommates and I ended up watching Surviving The Game. I can't remember if we DVR'd it or if we watched it as it came on -- but we watched it wire-to-wire.

My first thought when watching it was: "How did they trick all of these guys into being in this movie?" The cast includes Rutger Hauer, John C. McGinley, Gary Busey, and Ice-T (pre-badass-actor-stage). Rutger Hauer plays one of the cheesiest characters of all time. The basic story is that Ice T plays a homeless guy they recruit to be the target of human hunt. Rutger Hauer is the brains of the operation and once they get Mr. T to the cabin in the woods, he's MERCILESS with the overt-foreshadowing. It's almost laughable as during the dinner scene when Hauer tells him to "savor the meal" and when Gary Busey lets him know that you "can steal the pig's soul by looking into its eyes".

No matter what experience you hope to draw from Surviving the Game, you will be entertained. There are many moments of high tension -- like when Ice T tries to shoot his assailants with a shotgun from 200 yards away. But the best moment, BY FAR, has to be the story of Prince Henry Stout.

While we were watching this part, we couldn't really decide how much of this Busey ad-libbed. This short clip (thanks for sending, Brad) definitely challenges The Wicker Man in terms of pure insanity. It barely beats out the scene where Busey tackles Ice-T and tries to kill him.



Clearly, this was during Gary Busey's hey-day. Surviving The Game was in the middle of his Under Siege-Surviving The Game-Black Sheep-Drop Zone streak. It's unfortunate that his niche, crazy cocaine-fueled diatribes, also sparked his downfall. Hey, at least his career didn't tank as badly as his son's after Tomcats.

UPDATE: Alex found a transcript of an interview with Busey where he talks about the "Prince Henry Stout" story. Unsurprisingly, most of the speech was ad-libbed. Busey is god. He was on the I Love Money Casting Special and one guy said to him "I want to be on the A-List like you used to be!" Gary Busy was on the A-List?

Gary: That is not in the film. What's the other character you said? Surviving the Game! That was fantastic and when it came time to do the story about how I got into this game of surviving the game, the line was about three inches long. I told the director, Ernest Dickerson, I said, "Ernest, this is not enough tell the people why I'm here. Can I enlarge this?" And he said, "Yes you can." And I said, "You have just watered my garden! Thank you." So out came the story about me fighting Prince Henry Stout, the bulldog—life and death. And all that was improv. It's used in film studies now at colleges and universities to talk about the power of improvisation and spontaneity. And here is the key to spontaneity. This is a quote. Spontaneity comes from an invisible idea that is there before the creation begins—end quote. We all have it. We all have it in us, this a natural gift.

IS ARod plugging Madonna?

According to US Weekly, ARod has been making visits to Madonna's Central Park West apartment. That means he's probably "getting down" with the Material Girl. Mr. Rodriguez has shown two traits that also support the veracity of the claim. He's cheated on his wife already ... with a stripper in Toronto. The other piece of evidence is his penchant for women with manly builds. I think if you check out the two pictures below, you can see what I'm talking about. If you were the best player in baseball, who would you choose? Pictures are below...


Joslyn Morse and Madonna... practically work partners

NY Post Comes Second to OCD

When I saw the headline "Tossed Salads Becoming More Popular As A New York Food," I wasn't surprised. A co-worker (thanks Lindsay!) sent me this link to a New York Post article from June 18th about chop't in Midtown. Loyal readers may remember that I made a similar post about chop't on May 21st.

The best chop't line picture

Even though I know they didn't copy me, I can't help but feel ripped off. It's true: I didn't get deep into the story about the "fierce loyalties" in chop't patrons. I also did not investigate to find out that the bite-sized pieces were the selling point. But I did convey the simple message that this place is stupid busy at lunchtime. Would you stand on the street to get a salad? In any case, I think that you should continue to get your news from OCD. I'm just wondering when the first series of Mario Lopez articles will pop up in the New York papers...

OCD Breakdown: European Flair

I hope that you all had the chance to catch some of the Euro the past couple weeks. It really was an amazing tournament with Spain taking it all. I didn't see everything, but I was lucky enough to catch Turkey's comeback against Czech Republic. I was also watching when David Villa scored 2 minutes into stoppage time off of a clear. But nobody cares about soccer... so I'll get to the point.

Euro soccer has been the source of numerous regrettable trends in recent years. Fashionable mullets and anything related to David Beckham (double ponytail, cornrows, etc.) come to mind immediately. The fashionable mullet (usually faux-hawked-out to some degree) is not to be confused with the standard "fabio" that's a favorite of many Italian and Argentinian players. Soccer players don't wear helmets or hats... so they have a lot of hair options.

I spotted two emerging trends at this year's Euro -- two daring players with two vastly different statements. Luca Toni, who my brother and I believe to be one of the laziest players in the world, has gone with a totally 80's look. He's got the throwback 'stache and the locks to match. Boswinga takes another approach with his disregard for grooming his massive brow. The bold eyebrows give him an imposing gaze for all to respect. Both players have blazed the way for other players to jump on board with these trends. I expect that they will both be quite popular at the Olympics and World Cup 2010.

Luca Toni's 'stache would lose to Boswinga's unibrow in a fight