Playboy Spring Break Update Numero Dos

With Playboy Spring Break 2008 less than two weeks away, it is now crunch time. I've been working overtime to get all of the final details squared away. I have some important items on my to-do list such as acquiring a super soaker and fake tanning my pale body. But there really is a lot of planning and execution involved with our Playboy Spring Break events. Each week, we have a total of 4 evening events and 3 day events. You need an all-star crew to ensure success, so let me introduce you to the cast of characters:


Playboy Spring Break Staff from L to R: Chris Duncan, Lisa Kolodny, Charlie Romano, Chip Ross
Lisa "K-os" Kolodny: By our powers combined, we are COLLEGE MARKETING! To put it in laymen's terms, we do a shitload of work for Playboy. Pretty much anything that relates to a person that is old enough to look at Playboy but not actually old is our responsibility. We destroyed at CollegeFest and I suspect Spring Break will be more of the same. Lisa is pretty talented, but I think her disadvantage of having significantly less body weight will hurt her in the tequila drinking department. Plus, I've been training. You should check out Lisa's blog The Dirtay Thirtay.

Mr. Charlie Romano: Charlie is like the 6-inches-taller, skinnier, friendlier, and more patient version of me. He's more than the college marketing intern, he's the Official Chris Duncan apprentice. Soon, I will pass on the lessons of being a cranky, impatient fuck to him. For now, he is assigned all of the work that I don't want to do. Kidding. Charlie handles much of the nitty gritty that goes into our main events like CollegeFest, Super Saturday Night, and Spring Break. His idea for the proposal to Fox was good enough to get us a sponsor (Hitman DVD). He also blogs about The Rise of Charlie.

Chip Ross: I first met Chip at CollegeFest 2006. He also came to Cabo last year for Playboy Spring Break as well. Chip is in charge of a little site called Playboy U. He'll be handling the video content that will go up on Playboy U and also making sure that the bands are sufficiently drunk. That's a joke... they won't need our help getting drunk.

Rocky "Rawdog" Rakovic: Rocky is the artsy, effeminate version of me. Not really. He's the badass editorial staffer that actually at least pretends to like marketing (thanks for putting my Mark Frazier interview on the Playboy Blog, buddy). We appreciate that. The Rawdog has had numerous pieces published in Playboy Magazine. My personal favorite is the write-up of his Brazilian wax experience in the August 2006 issue (Monica Leigh cover). At least he won't have a problem getting that done for Cabo. He'll be blogging the madness from our events.

Official Chris Duncan and Rocky Rakovic... that's my drunk snarl caught at an awkward moment

Jimmy "The Muscle" Cambria: Jimmy is in charge of security at the New York office. He's worked pretty much every major Playboy event for the past few years. He's a former New York police office. I'm hoping that I'll get to hear more crazy cop stories this year. Jimmy will also be the person that gets me out of Mexican jail.

The Playboy Models: Oh yeah, we're bringing some girls with us too. The first week (March 8-11) we'll have Playmate Shannon James and Cyber Girls Jennifer Hurt, Amanda Hanshaw, and Megan Hauserman. Shannon is great -- she has dealt with C-Drunk/Piss Drunken and she still pretends to like me. Jennifer and Megan both have huge crushes on me (sarcasm), so we'll see how that plays out. I've never met Amanda before, but I'm pretty sure she'll fit in well. She can talk to Megan about being on Beauty and the Geek... so that works out. Week two (March 22-25) Playmate Lindsay Wagner and Cyber Girls Jillian Beyor, Aubrie Lemon, and Jessica Danielle will be making appearances. Lindsay is new to me, so I look forward to meeting her. Jillian was in Cabo last year and rebuffed my advances, so that's a lost cause. She was at CollegeFest with us last September and kicked ass. Jennifer and Aubrie also both came with us to Spring Break last year. They're also both Deal or No Deal models. I approve.

Some of my favorite people will be joining me in Can San Lucas this year. But I'm sure I'll be making a lot more friends when I'm down there... lady friends. If you're making the trip to Cabo either week, leave a comment and let us know!

OCD Breakdown: I <3 Rock of Love

Rock of Love has to be one of the best shows going right now. I like to say that my range of interests runs the gamut when it comes to television. But that's just another way of justifying the fact that I like garbage. I can call a spade a spade. Rock of Love fanatics, please place your vote for the girl that you think will win in the poll below. My pick is Ambre (explained below).

If you want to disagree with me about Rock of Love, let me try to sway you with my reasoning. The show has the right "mix" with a solid main character, scantily clad women, easy-to-follow while ridiculous storyline, and a healthy dose of intoxication. Let me break it down:

Bret Michaels is awesome
As he appears on the show, Bret Michaels is like any guy who had a ridiculous amount of coming at him. He rolls with it, but he's even surprised with some of the affection that the women show him -- or he's an excellent actor. His gratuitous use of "hey-yo!" is also comical. I just enjoy the fact the Bret Michaels acts the same as any normal guy would if he were in the same situation. Like any other reasonable person, I assumed Bret Michaels was a douchebag based purely on appearance. But when I read the Bret Michaels Playboy.com Dirty Dozen Interview (this was before Rock of Love), I couldn't help but like the guy. The best quote is about the most orgasms he's had in one day: "It was eight, with my current girlfriend. It would be nine because I also masturbated once in there as well."

Megan Hauserman is my friend
Yeah, that's not true. We have worked together for two different events though. I think she's actually really funny on the show. She flashed some of the same smart-assed nature at CollegeFest last September. I was sitting next to her and we were bullshitting with each other. I can't even remember what I was saying to her at the time, but she interrupted me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Are you hitting on me?" I'm pretty sure I wasn't -- at least not overtly. I was so shocked, I think I just walked away. I can't even remember at this point. If only I had known that wearing eye makeup, a bandanna, and a cowboy hat was the key to her heart.

Girl drama to the max
The most memorable moment so far was Aubry's hilarious exit from the show. For those of you who didn't catch that (video below), here's the rundown. She figured it would be her or Kristy Joe eliminated, decided Kristy Joe deserved it more, and then "sacrificed herself" by leaving the show. Shortly after her speech about giving the "greatest gift" to Kristy Joe, Bret revealed that she was going to be eliminated anyway.



I think Ambre will win because she's the all-around best. She's attractive, reasonably intelligent, and athletic. I think she has enough juice to win. Unfortunately, Bret cut the two oldest women -- leaving Ambre as the oldest (I think). I thought he might keep one of them around until the end for age-related drama, but decided to cut the cord. How the hell is Inna still around? Also, I think Daisy is going to be built up again (a-la her date with Bret a while back) and then eliminated. Yes, I think about Rock of Love this much. I am a truly pathetic individual.

The Mystery of the Playboy Twister Mat

Nothing is more fun than a game of Twister. That's a lie. I can't think of a time I've even played Twister. But I think it could be reasonably fun. That was my thought process when deciding to bring Playboy Twister to Cabo.

We found the spinner and shipped it last month. I scoured the closet and couldn't find the mat that goes with it. The point of the story isn't that I found the mat though. We just decided to print a new one. The final will look slightly different from the first mock-up below.

The NEW PlayboyU Twister mat... minus naked women.

However, I did find the original Playboy Twister mat online while checking out the search results for "Playboy Spring Break". I really enjoyed this picture, so I felt the need to share. It is quite apparent that the old twister mat got some good mileage. Nice VHS camcorder that the guy on the left has... top of the line. Any guesses for what year this was taken? 1997?

An "adventurous" young woman gets down on the Playboy Twister mat. Yeah, I blurred her nipples. Sorry.

Playboy Spring Break 2008 won't be nearly as "hardcore". We won't have wet t-shirt contests or anything like that. It's Cabo San Lucas, you have to keep it classy. Girls won't be taking their tops off at our events, but I'll try to arrange that for other times during the week.

Playboy Spring Break Update Numero Uno

As you may know, I'm getting ready for Playboy Spring Break 2008 in Cabo San Lucas. My efforts have included trying to get in shape and also getting as pale as possible in cold New York. In a mere two weeks, I will be in the middle of thousands of crazy-fucking-drunk college kids. I should be right at home.

Breann McGregor gives Official Chris Duncan some love... photograph by Chad Doering with my camera


This year, we're doing even more in Cabo than ever before. So sit back and relax as I "break it down" for you fools. People often ask me how much Corona and Cuervo it takes to master the science of Spring Break. It takes exactly 120 Mexican Coronas and 50 Cuervo shots. I figured that out last year much like the owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial. What's happening other than drinking? Casual sex... and some great Playboy events! Seriously. Next update, I'll introduce you to the cast of characters, but here's what's happening...

Miss Playboy Mobile Spring Break

Tuesday March 11 Afternoon @ Nikki Beach
Location is still TBD, so don't lock it in just yet. Keep checking for updates because you won't want to miss this. I will do my best to select the finest women in Cabo to participate in the Miss Playboy Mobile competition. The winner of our event will go on to the finals in Las Vegas on April 2nd at The Palms. Sorry guys, there's no nudity in the contest or final photoshoot. I'll have my digital camera handy though...

Rock the Rabbit Concerts at Cabo Wabo Cantina

Saturday March 8 Evening @ Cabo Wabo - Your Vegas
Last year, Your Vegas killed at Cabo Wabo. So we decided it was a good idea to bring them back. Since we locked them up late last year, they signed with Universal. At the beginning of 2008, they joined The Bravery on their US tour. The young men of Your Vegas are suddenly blowing up. Those fuckers were supposed to let me play on their indoor soccer team for free, but they never set it up. Lazy bastards.
Saturday March 22 Evening @ Cabo Wabo - Beasts of Eden
Carter McLean and his band gave a fantastic performance at the Playboy offices last year. They were so good that we're bringing them to Cabo with us. Carter (who has a bad ass name... his middle name is Powers) couldn't bring a drum set to the office. He was playing on what looked like a wooden box that produced a sizeable thump. He later revealed that the instrument was called a "cajon". That's "box" in Spanish. Maybe Carter can get some use out of that espanol in Mexico.

Rock the Rabbit Mash Up Concerts

Sunday March 9 & Tuesday March 11 - David Sides
The Mash Up concept had been floating around our office for a while, but it wasn't complete until we found David Sides. My partner in crime, Charlie Romano, sent us a link to his YouTube video and we called his management before the end of the day. We locked David in for the first week of Spring Break. The hardest part was finding a functional piano in Cabo San Lucas. We found one at Passion. If that doesn't work out, we might be screwed. Apparently, there's a piano museum in a mountain town a couple hours from Cabo San Lucas. Hopefully, we don't have to borrow from them.

Sunday March 23 & Tuesday March 25 - Paul Dateh & DJ inka one
Paul and DJ inka one just passed a million views on their extremely popular YouTube clip. Their collaboration with Beasts of Eden should be fantastic. Paul was recently in New York to perform with Public Enemy's DJ Johnny Juice. He also stopped by our office when he wasn't doing a piece with RocketBoom or meeting with Chuck D. We gave him some shirts and wristbands, so he probably likes us more.

Those are the individual events of note. We're somewhere every afternoon and night for about three days in two separate weeks. The listing of events is below. Feel free to leave any questions you may have in the comments.

Playboy Spring Break Week 1

Appearances by Playmate Shannon James and Cyber Girls Jennifer Hurt, Megan Hauserman, and Amanda Hanshaw

• March 8 Evening (Cabo Wabo) - Your Vegas concert
  
• March 9 Afternoon (TBD) - Playmate/Cyber Girl signing with David Sides performance
  
• March 9 Evening (TBD) - Bar party
  
• March 10 Afternoon (Billygan's Beach Club) - Beach games & Playmate/Cyber Girl signing
  
• March 10 Evening (Zoo Bar) - Playmate/Cyber Girl appearance @ reserved tables
  
• March 11 Afternoon (TBD) - Miss Playboy Mobile competition
  
• March 11 Evening (Nowhere Bar) - Farewell party
  

Playboy Spring Break Week 2

Appearances by Playmate Lindsay Wagner and Cyber Girls Jessica Danielle, Jillian Beyor, and Aubrie Lemon

• March 22 Evening (Cabo Wabo) - Beasts of Eden concert
  
• March 23 Afternoon (TBD) - Playmate/Cyber Girl signing with Paul Dateh/DJ inka one performance
  
• March 23 Evening (TBD) - Bar party
  
• March 24 Afternoon (Billygan's Beach Club) - Beach games & Playmate/Cyber Girl signing
  
• March 24 Evening (Zoo Bar) - Playmate/Cyber Girl appearance @ reserved tables
  
• March 25 Afternoon (TBD) - Paul Dateh & DJ inka one performance
  
• March 11 Evening (Nowhere Bar) - Farewell party
  

Tying Up Loose Ends

Just in case you were holding your breath waiting for closure, here are some updates on previous items. If none of the below is confusing, then you read my blog way too fucking much.

OCD INTERVIEW: MARK FRAZIER & BLAIR O'NEAL
I've been in some recent correspondence with Blair, who was one of my bodypainted models. Looks like she'll probably work at the Playboy Golf Scramble in Phoenix. Recently, I've had a Playmate, the Playmate "mother", and the guy who runs Playboy Golf tell me to come out to LA for the Scramble Finals. I've never been to the Playboy Mansion, so this would be a great time to do that. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. I'm going to be in Cabo until the day I'd need to be in LA. So that's either really good or really bad. Now, I have to convince them to fly me there...

AMERICAN GLADIATORS SUCKS
I don't really think I need to go over this again.

FIRE ISIAH @ MSG
I made the signs and the Knicks lost... so that part went as planned. I couldn't get everybody into it though. Maybe that's a good thing. Since we could've been kicked out for having a FIRE ISIAH sign.

BECOMING LESS FAT
Recap coming later.

TRASHING THE BUCKET LIST
I'll never see this movie and I'm nearly positive that it's a piece of shit. It did much better than the horrible failure that I predicted. I said 45 with a max of 60 mill at the domestic box office. That was obviously insane. I had originally typed 60 with a 75 million domestic box office as a ceiling. It'll probably peter out before it even sniffs $100 million which should be within the next few weeks.

National Tragedy: Kevin Durant Eats a Booger

Well, this makes me feel like an ass. This is the best Texas Basketball recruit of all-time doing something a toddler shouldn't do. At least you don't see VY eating boogers. Thanks to DChu, probably the biggest Texas-hater that I know, for this link. Check out the video below for the greatest ass slap of all time.



Damion James doesn't fuck around when it comes to attaboys on the backside. Here's the proof. AJ Abrams probably had a mark on his cheeks after that forceful show of affection.

OCD Classic: The Hip Hop Magician!

Uncle Majic AKA The Hip Hop Magician is one of my new favorite people. I caught his commercial on TV earlier today. We were catching up on Rock of Love 2 when this gem came on. This is a great commercial. I've transcribed the script below:
Uncle Majic: Hi I'm Uncle Majic the hip hop magician!
Shock-Kim: And I'm Shock-Kim the clown!

Uncle Majic: I'm who the celebrities call for their kids' birthday parties!
Shock-Kim: NO! I'm the one that the celebrities call for their kids' birthday parties!

Uncle Majic: We have
Uncle Majic: Magic shows
Uncle Majic: Balloon animals
Uncle Majic: Games for kids
Uncle Majic: Popcorn machine
Uncle Majic: Cotton candy machine
Uncle Majic: AND bouncing castle

Uncle Majic: Call for yo kid birthday party!
Uncle Majic: 718-892-0760

Uncle Majic: Who's your favorite uncle?
Kid: Uncle Majic!!

The commercial is classic. Best line is obviously "Call for yo kid birthday party". I'm definitely considering calling him for my birthday party next month. He actually looks like he's a nice guy. Shock-Kim the Clown is probably a very sad motherfucker. Does anybody disagree with that statement? I really don't think he's the one who celebrities call for their kids' birthday party. The magically appearing party components were amazing as well. I bet that's his cell number that he lists.



The website is great too. "While levitating dollar bills and cans of soda or pulling pigeons out of thin air, his DJ spins the hottest rap tunes". You should check out the photos sections. He has two good ones with Russell Simmons. The bottom line of "Who the Celebrities Call for their Kids Parties" is an excellent selling point. Who wouldn't be excited when Uncle Majik pulls up in his wrapped (possibly) 300Z? You also shouldn't forget that he's "As Seen of TV". Uncle Majic has a professional marketing team behind him and he has no problem showing off their creative prowess.

Mobile Post: Praying My Flight Is Delayed

Official Chris Duncan is an official dumbass. I locked my rental car keys
in the car. Now Im waiting for a locksmith to reactivate the Ford
Fusion. My flight is at 1:20 and its just about noon. Its going to
take about 30 minutesto get to the airport and another 30 to return
the car, take the shuttle, and check in. I'm possibly fucked. Wish me
luck.

Mobile Post: At a College Apt

I'm at a BU college apt. Nothing posses me off more than people not
having fun. Fuck Maxim. Fuck Heidi. Fuck any jackass that uses 10 oz of
gel every day.

Mobile Post: Eff Boston in its Effing A

I'm at Logan Airport waiting for the Budget Car Rental bus. Its pretty
approriately named since I have been standing here for 15 minutes.
I've seen two Thrifty buses and possibly three from Alamo.

At least it gives me time to admire the above poster of The Golden
Boy. Last time I was in Boston, the closest thing to something like
this was a regional Vitamin Water ad with Big Papi. The Patriots may
not have gone 19-0, but T Brady's handsome is undefeated all-time.

When is Tom Brady ever getting off of helicopters? Even if it did
actually happen, why is he wearing a trench coat? It would probably
be more effective if it said "one drop of Tom Brady ball-sweat in each
bottle". Those are championship balls.

I'm Famous! But That's a Relative Statement...

Yesterday, I had my first of two (or more?) posts published on the Playboy Blog. Because I'm quite the looker, the editorial staff felt like throwing me a bone and linking the article on the front page with my picture along with it. I feel like a pseudo-celebrity but not quite at the level of the guy from Crazy Town on Celebrity Rehab. Too bad most people will think that my name is Mark Frazier if they don't read the article (it is Playboy.com). My phone has been ringing off the hook... but that's because I misplaced it and was trying to locate it by sound (too bad it was on vibrate). Other than that, it's business as usual with Official Chris Duncan.

His name is Seth Binzer

I'm sure everybody fucking hates that picture of me by now. I apologize.

While I'm riding high with the increased exposure of the Chris Duncan brand, I'm still not as "big" as Romeo Dev. I was linked to Romeo Dev yesterday by my co-worker Nikolai and then also saw his pictures on the screen of another co-worker. Nikolai linked me to FoxNews and Lisa was looking at the Daily Telegraph. I also saw that Romeo had a link to his Telegraph article on DrudgeReport. Drudge and FoxNews get around a million unique visitors a day. Romeo's article appeared on The Daily Telegraph, Xinhua News, The Daily Mail, and was syndicated on local Fox News websites. He was also on blogs like Boing Boing and Best Week Ever. That's a lot of eyeballs.

Bodybuilder Romeo Dev on Xinhua News (bottom right)

The man got a ridiculous amount of exposure for being a dwarf that also happens to be a bodybuilder. This guy is 50,000X more famous than I am and probably just as famous as Seth Binzer. I would have originally said that Romeo was twice as famous, but that was before I found out that he was in the only Martin Short movie I actually like... Clifford. I can't really count Jungle 2 Jungle and I haven't seen Three Amigos all the way through. You can look at the graph below that charts blog posts with Seth Binzer vs. Romeo Dev as topics. Obviously, Ice Rocket isn't the best measuring stick, but it at least gives us part of the story. There's no denying the spike that Romeo Dev has seen in the past few days. It's hilarious to me that Romeo chooses to rock a Slim Shady-like hairdo. Two people that saw this for the first time instantly said that he was fake. I've been called a lot of nasty things -- but nobody has ever claimed that I didn't exist. Maybe he's claymation.

Romeo Dev vs. Seth Binzer vs. Shifty Shellshock

Personally, I have a problem with the fact that many of the kids growing up (and those of us that are now avoiding adulthood) have top goals consisting of being rich or being famous. The problem with that is being rich and being famous are the results of accomplishment. You can't "do" either of them. And you can ask Britney whether or not fame is as wonderful as those people would imagine. I'm not at the point where I have to worry about paparazzi though. I'm not even the most famous Duncan at Playboy. There are actually three Duncans in the New York office. The other two are Richard Duncan (who pointed out a typo in my Mark Frazier post) and Aaron Duncan, a bigwig in our licensing department. Aaron Duncan still has me beat in the playboy+duncan Google search. It's going to be hard to climb above him since he's actually worth writing about. But then again, all I do is make posts about myself.

OCD INTERVIEW: Bodypaint Artist Mark Frazier

The first time I talked to Mark Frazier was near the end of 2007. During our initial phone call, it became pretty clear that he was our man. His experience spans 20+ years of bodypainting. As a pioneer in the art of bodypainting, there are few that can boast the same experience and quality of work. Mark has the prestigious title of "house" bodypainter for Playboy Mansion parties. We were able to lock him in for the Playboy Super Bowl Party 2008 (he had to fly back at 9AM to paint girls for the Mansion on Sunday). When OfficialChrisDuncan spoke to Mark, he was on his way to the Museum of Contemporary Art to discuss his next job where he'd be painting girls to replicate statues with an anime theme. Don't worry, they'll still be naked.

Official Chris Duncan and his girls

OCD: I'm sure that there are many men who are researching bodypainting books on Amazon after reading about you. How did you manage to turn painting women into a full time job?
BadassMF: The first time was in 1985 before Photoshop was an option. I was hired to paint photorealistic backgrounds for different shoots. At one job, I was asked by a photographer if I would paint the model's body with a design. I got the right answer to my question of "how much?" and decided to go for it. We experimented with tempera paint at first, but that ends up cracking and pulling hair out. Now, we use airbrushing equipment to get the right look.

OCD: How many girls would you say you've painted over the years?
BadassMF: Definitely over 1000. I try to paint about thirty girls each month. So in 2007, I probably painted almost 360 girls.

OCD: Who are some of the notable women that you've painted?
BadassMF: That depends. Most recently, I painted Tiffany Fallon for the February 2008 cover. I've also painted Sara Jean Underwood when she was on the Girls of the Pac 10 cover. So that's two Playmates of the Year right there. They also had me paint Vida Guerra as a tiger a few years ago. But I've even painted Christy Hemme before anybody had heard of her. She was actually an extra girl we used to create the model pose chart for the "real" models who were being photographed. So she would show up before them and get all of the poses done so the other models had exact instructions and pictures of what they needed to do.

OCD: Have you ever bodypainted any men?
BadassMF: No men, just women. We have a couple rules for our operation. Rule #1: Only paint girls. Rule #2: Refer to Rule #1. I guess we've painted men a few times, but it's never the full body. I've painted items like a chest plate and armor on guys. We did that for Victoria Fuller's husband. That's pretty much it though.

OCD: What has been your favorite design over the years?
BadassMF: Well, this style of art is pure capitalism. Obviously, I have to please a client just as in any other line of business. The Bellhop (model Blair O'Neal, interview below) was really neat for me. The first time is always good, but it can get old. I've painted about a million French maids. As an example, I'm working with NBC on some designs for Knight Rider. I really like the design we have with tire tracks on the model. But I can pretty safely assume that they'll want something with a Knight Rider logo t-shirt and headlights on the girl's boobs. So it always depends on the client. And we're not just talking Hef parties, we've painted girls for the biggest lesbian party in California.

OCD: What's it like to work for Hef?
BadassMF: Hef has very specific goals that he wants accomplished. For one, it has to look like real clothes -- he loves lingerie designs. Usually, he looks at 12-20 mock ups that I create and will pick about three from the new set. Then we'll go over the old designs I've done and he'll pick the rest from there. With Hef, it is most important that the design actually looks authentic.

OCD: I heard your whole family is involved with your bodypainting. Can you describe how that works?
BadassMF: My wife takes care of rhinestone application, any extra clothes (like hats), and detail work. My son and daughter are both airbrush painters.

OCD: That sounds like a delightful bonding experience. Do you need any extra help on your team? I'm available.
BadassMF: Well, get yourself to the Mansion and we can find a job for you. Can you hold a blowdryer and help with rhinestones?
OCD: I think I can figure it out... deal.

Blair O'Neal was one of Mark's models for bodypainting. Blair had worked a number of events during Super Bowl week, but she had never worked for Playboy.

OCD: You went to Arizona State which is famous for beautiful women. Is it everything it's cracked up to be?
Blair: Yes, there are a lot of pretty girls. I can't really gauge that though since I'm a girl. But I've heard from a lot of my guy friends that the girls are the reason they decided to apply to ASU.

OCD: How long have you been a model? Have you ever worked with Playboy before?
Blair: I went to Arizona State for four years and played for the golf team there. After I graduated, I went pro. I haven't worked for Playboy, but I was picked by Bridget for a fashion show in San Jose. Unfortunately, I had committed to the Lingerie Bowl and had to skip it. We had a red carpet "kickoff" event for that on the same night.

So this would be my first time working with Playboy. I actually didn't go to the casting to try to become a bodypainted model. But Katie from OneSource models was basically told me, "You have to do it! You have a HOT body and blonde hair, they'll love you!" I didn't think my boobs were big enough, but my friend Mary Lou was going to be bodypainted and she convinced me. She was the girl with the blue bottom and red top. I figured if I was ever going to do it for anybody, I should do it for Playboy.

Blair (right) and her friend Mary Lou backstage at the party
OCD: Believe me, we all appreciate your enthusiasm. How long did it take to get painted?
Blair: I got there at 2PM and we were getting ready up until the event started. So it probably took about 8 hours to get it all done. They have to work on hair, makeup, and then the bodypaint. Mark and his team made me feel very comfortable though. We all did a shot before we had to go out and work the party.

OCD: Was this the longest time you've ever spent naked? Sleep and sex don't count.
Blair: Oh yeah. I was supposed to do the Lingerie Bowl, but I guess that doesn't really count either. The Lingerie Bowl actually got canceled because they couldn't get the permits though. I think I'm sick now because I was naked and cold for so long!

OCD: Did you like the bellhop outfit? I had to order the hat online.
Blair: It was great because it was Mark's first time to paint a bellhop. He said that my body was perfect for that design. It was something different and Mark liked how it turned out, so that's always good. People kept on asking me if I had a shirt on!

More Playboy Super Bowl Party Videos

The first video is Nick Cannon and DJ Reach in the DJ booth at the 2008 Playboy Super Bowl Party. It was around 1AM when the party was in full swing. Reach has been in the booth for many Playboy events. Nick Cannon made a special appearance at the Playboy Mansion last year and this was his first time we had the opportunity to work with him. My buddy Charlie Romano handled most of the DJ logistics for the party.



And here is the video from me and Andrea Lowell having a drinking contest after Madden Bowl 08. Clearly, I win.

Fucked Up On Google Juice II

Now that the Official Chris Duncan Blog has been up a little over a month, I can cover my progress in promoting the site. The first month brought 564 unique visitors (we can chalk up 3 of those to me on my laptop, me at work, and me on my iPhone). Average time on the site is 1:37 which means people are actually reading what I post. A little over 70% of the 564 visitors only came once and never came back. However, that also means that the rest visited more than once -- about 70 people have visited 10+ times. How did that happen?

Most of My Traffic Came from Google
Google sent 251 visits (different than unique visitors) for 31% of the total visits. I can safely say that most people weren't looking for my blog. I catch a lot of random Playboy keywords from my posts about events, Mark Frazier, etc. I haven't gotten any traffic from Yahoo at this point. I think that once I get listed on other search engines, I should have a decent bump in traffic. I can only hope that some of these people decide to actually read my blog if they don't find what they're looking for. Here are a few examples of searches that landed on my site and probably didn't give the visitor what they were looking for: "masturbate with a vibrator", hugh laurie phoenix, kept as a latex maid, pete wentz interview, roy williams looks like cartoon, and watch bikini airways online. I call these Chris Duncan's Greatest Hits. Hopefully they liked the site anyway.

Direct Traffic Sent the Second Most Visits
Direct traffic is when somebody types in officialchrisduncan.com into their browser. So that as a second source is huge. Hopefully, that means that people remember the site and come back to it on their own later. It could also mean that somebody visits the OfficialChrisDuncan YouTube Channel and sees the URL in the actual video. So it's hard to understand where direct traffic comes from, but it's definitely the sign of an engaged visitor. I think one of the biggest parts of personal branding is wrapping all of your online identities together. My Flickr, YouTube Channel, Twitter, MySpace Profile, Facebook Page, and Digg/StumbleUpon accounts all point to each other. I'd rather have somebody see some content from me like a picture somewhere else (e.g. Flickr or Facebook) than force them to visit my site. In the last week, I have a YouTube video with almost 500 views and a Flickr image with 300+ views. People will find their way to your site if you have compelling content.

Digg and Reddit Round Out the Major Traffic Sources
I submit my own blog posts to Digg and Reddit. Yes, it's a little bit embarrassing that I'm the only one who usually likes them -- but it gets some decent traffic. I have to do more work on these networks to make a name for myself. Along with StumbleUpon, they are a great case to showcase your own interests and hopefully connect with people in a way that will get them to my site. This type of grassroots networking isn't just for social bookmarking sites. I also have to do a better job visits sites that I think have similar visitors to mine and begin commenting/posting on forums.

Uncounted Traffic
My goal is to put my site in as many places as possible. So it's fed into my MySpace profile, Facebook profile, and Facebook page. I'm pretty sure that my measuring for these sites (FeedBurner Live Hits) is less than accurate. The hard part is convincing people to actually visit my site instead of reading it on my Facebook profile. I plan on changing the Facebook feed to short previews instead of the entire post, so hopefully that sends more traffic to the site.

Momentum is Building
The site is definitely on the upswing. I can't always hope for an increase in traffic every day, but I do hope it becomes more stable. If I just take stats from the last week (and that includes 12 hours of downtime last night), I still have 420 unique visitors. Of those people, 20% have visited the site more than once. So there are a lot of people who want more Official Chris Duncan. And I haven't even started posting my homemade porn yet.

The Knicks Lose! Fire Isiah!!

I headed to Madison Square Garden on Wednesday to watch the Knicks and Pacers with my cameraman by my side. My #1 goal was to start a "Fire Isiah" chant. Unfortunately, the Knicks were winning most of the game... until they choked. We actually had somebody from MSG tell us to put our signs away as we were leaving. Dolan is a fucking tyrant.

Spreading the FIRE ISIAH gospel in the subway

Most of the "action" while we were at the game is in the YouTube video below. We couldn't muster a real "Fire Isiah" chant, but we enjoyed the game -- not quite as much as Jerome James. Leave it up to General Manager Isiah to screw Coach Isiah by signing such a lazy bastard.

A few quick facts on Jerome James:

• Didn't play organized basketball until college
  
• Nickname is "Big Snacks"
  
• Signed a 6 year $30 million contract OR about $75,000 per game
  
• Averages 9.8 fouls per 48 minutes of play
  
• Averaged 3.1 points and 2.0 rebounds per game in his first year with the Knicks

The most hilarious aspect of Jerome James is that he yucks it up with EVERY player during stops in play before returning to the end of the bench (he sits beyond the players in STREET CLOTHES). The worst part is that we saw him giving "tips" to Eddy Curry. That's the beginning of the end for another lazy, fat big man in the NBA. Don't listen to him Eddy!

If you're so inclined, check out my Pacers vs. Knicks game photo set. Video compilation from the game is below. I love the huge "AWWWW!" as the Knicks crap out at the buzzer. Did anybody expect anything less? FIRE ISIAH!!

Playboy Super Bowl Party 2008 Recap

The dust has settled and the party is now in the books. For the third straight year, I've witnessed the Playboy Super Bowl Party officially known as Super Saturday Night. In Detroit, we were in a hangar at the Detroit Airport for the "8 Mile High Club". Last year we converted the American Airlines Arena into "PM: Playboy Miami After Dark".

Every year, there are uncontrollable elements that force you to adapt. It was freezing cold with snow in Detroit. In Miami, we were given l2 hours for move-in at the arena because the NFL had an event there the previous night. That's $100K worth of carpeting, constructing bars/cabanas, creating a silent auction room with almost 100 items worth over $200K, building a massive DJ booth, and then making it LOOK like a party. By the time DJ Reach arrived at American Airlines, people were starting to filter in and there were guys with drills trying to put VIP booths together.

The War Room at The Playboy Villa aka the hotel meeting room


You can't help but be delirious at the end of the night -- Detroit was a 20+ hour day, Miami was exactly 24, and this year it was 21. Super Saturday Night is a 12-month project (they'll be looking for a Tampa hotel in a couple weeks) with a budget exceeding a million dollars. And it's always fucking incredible.

The Playboy Villa
Our home away from The Crown Building in New York is always a luxurious boutique hotel in the hottest part of the Super Bowl host city. Not really. We usually occupy about 90% of the rooms at the hotels we choose. That means all the Playmates can be impressed by me moving boxes and driving a rental car (Toyota Highlander).

Playboy Staff (note the blackberry party) and Playmates Hiromi, Deanna, Tiffany, and Pilar dine on the breakfast buffet


This year, Mr. Charlie Romano was my bunk-buddy (we had a two bedroom, actually) and he managed to run amok in Phoenix as well (my exploits are documented here). He went to the Pepsi Smash in the VIP section. That's just how we roll when we're not blogging. We do it all for you.

On an early morning KMart run, I hit photographer James Trevenen's rental with mine while backing out of the hotel parking lot. It was hilarious. But the final KMart run yielded one of the greatest "you're not in New York" moments. The girl at the register asked us if we were French. It must've been Charlie's mohawk. Charlie and I don't look anything close to French. She must not get out of Phoenix very much. The "Playboy Villa" was in Phoenix, most of the other events were in Scottsdale, and the Playboy venue was in Chandler.

The Venue: Rawhide! Yee-haw?
I bet the Giants were pissed that we chose this spot because the nearest hotel (literally a 60 second drive) was their team hotel. They could probably hear the party on Saturday night. We had to convert a gigantic tented area into a party. It was no easy task. When I pulled up on Thursday, I couldn't even tell where it was going to be. Charlie and I drove all the way to the Western town -- the kind where they stage shootouts. We got back on the road and found another road that brought us past the petting zoo complete with a bison.

Relevent, our production company, had the place looking like the retro-themed Desert Oasis and Resort by the middle of the day Friday. I did everything from lift boxes, haul a thousand pounds of water, direct traffic, find salt, set up umbrellas, help get the wireless internet set up, move really angry-looking and sharp cacti, and get our college rep bus to the event (more on that below).

The Hero: The Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
Bodypainter Mark Frazier and his team arrived at 10:30AM as we had specified in their contract. Mark is an amazing professional and I don't just say that because he may be my ticket to the Playboy Mansion (his interview is in a follow-up post). When he arrived at the venue, there was no power in our production area and his crew couldn't get started. Not a problem -- Mark and his crew relaxed and knew they could get it all done. One of the guys asked me to give him our PR girl's number so he could call her about inviting NFL player to the event. That's always iffy, but he ended up getting Leon Hall. So it worked out.

Arizona nudity laws require that the models have pasties and latex thongs. Mark Frazier says he hates working with pasties and latex thongs. I feel like that's almost a Chuck Norris level of bad ass in that statement. Possibly more. I saw the first girl done with my favorite design a little after before lunch. That was a nice diversion from the shit-hitting-the-fan pace we endure. One of my (female) co-workers was irked by the fact that "when the girls bent over, you could see their skin because their buttcracks weren't painted". I have an interesting job.

Mark Frazier and the Bodypainted Models... jealous?


Mark and the team finished the job with plenty of time to spare. The girls looked amazing. I felt pretty pleased with my first of two major contributions to the party.

The Bus: Reppin' Playboy On Campus
I fucking love college marketing. There's no two ways about it. I love college sports. I love college girls. I love being irresponsible. I love having free time to waste. Other than the sports, those are becoming a much smaller part of my reality and it makes me sad. So my job "keeps me in the game" because I'm a sad old man. But this sad old man had to make sure that 50 beautiful girls from the University of Arizona made it to our party safely. I do a very good job.

Aside from the few hundred girl-only tickets that I sent out, the rep bus was my big contribution to "the ratio". I assigned two reps, Michael Knudten and Laurie Laird, the task of recruiting a bus full of girls. It doesn't matter how big the celebrity, the girls' entrance has been a show-stopper the past two years and this was no exception.

Girls from the University of Arizona @ Playboy Super Bowl Party


They arrived at about 9:30PM and I was able to meet them at about 10:00PM with the bus parked right in front of our entrance. Charlie and I tried to work our magic with the PR team running the red carpet but we just missed our opportunity to have them walk the red carpet. We were told that Common, our host, was arriving at that moment. He walked in wearing a grey suit with some bad ass grey shoes that looked like they were worth more than my life. As we were about to the unleash the hotness of the University of Arizona onto the red carpet, Nick Cannon arrived and bumped us again. I was about to step in and stop the line when I saw a police car pulling up. We were definitely getting bumped from the red carpet again because Hef was arriving with a police escort and his girlfriends. Seeing The Man himself walk into our event was probably the first time I've ever actually been starstruck. They were walking the red carpet for about 30 minutes since EVERY press member wanted to interview one of the girls individually (plus Hef was there).

Hugh Hefner and Kendra Arrive @ Playboy Super Bowl Party


After about an hour and a half of waiting, Mr. Romano and I made our way down the red carpet with a gaggle of hot coeds right on Mr. Hefner's heels. They literally entered the party after him as he had just finished his interview with Playboy Radio. You can check out the video of the girls below. We had a lot of NFL players at our event, so I suspect the bus did not go back full...



The Show: Party All the Time, Party All the Time, Party All the Time
By the time my duties with the bus were done, it was pretty close to midnight. I had my stint at the door coming up at 1AM. The party is really just something that happens while I'm running around. It's only 6 hours out of a long weekend of work. Still, we managed to pack in 2000+ attendees including a long list of athletes. Audrina and LC stopped by. Sadly, that's sort of exciting for me. I saw them in Cabo last year at a taco stand at 4AM though. I did get to climb into the DJ booth with Nick Cannon and DJ Reach for a few seconds. It was a pretty amazing moment because it was just as Nick Cannon had started on Stronger.

I ended up back at the door soon after to have some guy try to get in with a girl ticket (his girlfriend said that somebody ahead of him had "mixed up tickets"... right). Another two kids tried to convince me to let them in without tickets because they came with a lot of girls ... the old "we're with them". Sorry, guys. The fire marshal shut down the door at about 1:30 because we'd reached capacity. This happened in Miami at about 12:30. We could only let people in at a trickle after that.

Willis McGahee showed up at about 2AM and the party was pretty much done. I was happy that we had landed the Madden Bowl champ. He shook my hand and told me that he had brought a couple of family members. Nice guy.

We drove back to our hotel after 5AM and I ended up getting into my bed after 6AM having to pack when I "woke up". I got up at 7AM to make sure I was ready to go to the airport. Oh yeah, I heard there was a football game scheduled for Sunday. I did make it back just in time to see kickoff at my apartment.

Click here to see the Official Chris Duncan Playboy Super Bowl Party pictures!

Now, it's time to get ready for Spring Break...

The Infamous Roy Williams Video

I was at the Madden Bowl just minding my own business and I ran into one of my personal heroes, Roy Williams. I had followed his career since he had become a standout wide receiver with the Texas Longhorns. I even know that his favorite food is fried Oreos. My dad's from Detroit, so I'm a Lions fan and that's where he plays in the NFL.

All I wanted was for him to (1) acknowledge me (that pretty much happened, although not as planned) and (2) come to the Playboy Super Bowl Party (definitely got denied on that one). This was about ten minutes before Michael Irvin started sleazing on Andrea. Make sure you have your volume up... I think my best comment comes at the very end. I think it's the 2:15 mark. Roy Williams is definitely not invited to my Cabo birthday party in March!

Celebs and Booze and Chris Duncan! Oh, My!

I made the trip to Phoenix to work on the Playboy Super Bowl Party. Last year, I ended up at The Shore Club right before LeBron, hit up Suite/Snatch with Hiromi Oshima and Courtney Culkin, and later attended what we thought was Michael Strahan's party (turned out it was his brother's shitty party or something equally lame). I knew that this year might have a few notable fiestas, and my nights in Scottsdale were definitely a success. You don't see a drunk as shit Jonathan Ogden every day.

Wednesday @ Ashlee Simpson's Par-tay
After unpacking boxes for a few hours, I felt tired and needed to eat. That process was delayed as my co-worker Kaki (coolest person that I know) invited me to dine with her friends in Scottsdale. We ended up going to a place called Sapporo with her friend Jase and his buddies. The best description of that place is "Benihana on steroids". After a few rounds of awesome food, Jase asked us if we wanted to "get a few drinks". Translation: we ended up going to the Ashlee Simpson event at Myst in Scottsdale. Yes, it is extremely ridiculous that I was along for that ride. Who the fuck am I?

We stood outside for less than 10 minutes and I had Deanna Brooks hanging onto me (using me for my body heat), so the normal "hip spot" runaround was a little more enjoyable. Once we were wristbanded and inside the venue, we went to the upstairs bar. I wasn't too impressed by the event itself, but it did end up being more entertaining than I thought.

It was your typical upscale Super Bowl party with older, well-dressed men scanning the room for girls that averaged about 20 years old and were wearing as little as possible (it was FREEZING outside). I wasn't really feeling it and I was also stone-cold sober. Then I spotted the one celeb anchoring the upstairs part of the party. Terrell Owens was up there and flanked by a huge guy with scary beard, his posse, and two clearly underage girls. The saddest part was that when he moved, THE WHOLE section of party would move with him. Hilarious.

As he was going towards the private rooms, Deanna decided that she'd try to get him to come to our party. That never ended up happening (although it was just as successful as my attempts the next night -- more below). As we were standing around, I saw one of the biggest men on the face of the Earth. Jonathan Ogden was fucking hammered as he meandered past us. He must have been drinking since about 5PM since I'd guess that his drinking style and tolerance are similar to that of Andre the Giant. I thought he might eat shit as he walked past us and he needed to brace himself on the wall. He was so tall that his extended arm was right over Deanna's head (she's 5'3" 107 and he's 6'9" 345). I was afraid that he'd take down three or four regular people with him if he tipped over.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at Myst before her "performance"

Ashlee Simpson also performed in the hour that we were there. She definitely was not lip-syncing, because it sounded like she had smoked about 300 cigarettes before grabbing the mic. The event sucked, but at least I left with a few good memories.

Thursday Night @ Madden Bowl 08
Our publisher couldn't make it to the Madden Bowl, so I ended up being his substitute. The Martini Ranch in Scottsdale had about 300 guys and 20 girls hanging out that night. Awesome. Trey Wingo (who happens to be blacklisted from Playboy events) was hosting what had to be one of the most boring events of all time. He introduced about eight big name players and brought them up on stage. It was so engaging that one of the players was TEXTING while he was standing up there.

My buddy and I detached ourselves from the main bar after a few effective rounds of drinking. We decided to go out back and see what Playboy Radio was doing. At that point, I decided that I should get myself a little more buzzed and try to get some NFL players to come to our event on Saturday. It's pretty standard for me to get drunk so I can talk to guys.

After some initial success, the drinking continued and I became quite bold. My first taste of victory was bringing Mario Williams over to the Playboy Radio area for an interview. It wasn't long until I was approaching the likes of Dontrelle Willis, Warrick Dunn, TJ Houshmanzadeh, Reggie Wayne, etc. Then, my friend pointed out one of my personal heroes... Roy Williams from Texas. I had no problem stepping up and giving him my pitch, but he wasn't very receptive. The result is one of the most hilarious videos that I've ever seen (will post as soon as I'm not using the horrible Marriott wireless).

Andrea Lowell of Playboy Radio (and Surreal Life) was my "co-host" for this shit show and I think that we produced an entertaining product. You'll notice that she encouraged me to continue my fruitless quest. A few highlights:

• Making a jerkoff motion after Roy brushes me off... and having him look RIGHT at me as I had my back to him
  
• Literally chasing him away from the party
  
• My emotional facial expressions
  
• My buddy/cameraman saying "It hurts!" about twenty times

Andrea consoles me as I make my sad face
As we left the event, Michael Irvin hijacked Andrea. Somehow, he figured out that I was trying to take an iPhone picture of him and said "no pictures!" about ten times. Andrea was able to remove herself from the situation just in time to catch up to us for the fucking $60 cab ride back to Phoenix. Friday (today) was a day of rest once we were done with work. I know... I'm a pussy. Tomorrow is the big day, so prepare yourself for that post. Once again... who the fuck am I?