Sunday, September 14, 2008

Will Wright's Amazing Fashion Statement

Will Wright is the creator of Sim City, The Sims, and the new game Spore. Obviously, he's very smart and very rich man. I looked him up on Wikipedia to find out more and I came across a picture of him from South by Southwest. I know he's a badass, but I think this is a little extreme. The Columbia vest with no undershirt is quite bold.

Will Wright doesn't let sleeves limit his genius

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

OCD Actual Convo: Got Boned by the GZA

I would have posted this earlier, but Time Warner is trying to silence me by shutting down my internet. That... or incompetence. In any case, I had a lovely conversation with my old friend from high school. He lives in Texas and recently went to see the GZA in concert. I was quite entertained by this exchange. However, I still need somebody to give me more details on the "Dallas mafia".

He's trying to figure out how to bang your girlfriend... again

Anonymous Asshole Friend:  do you know who the Gza is? from the wutang clan?
Anonymous Asshole Friend:  He's cousin to the Rza, and one of the best rappers ever, but (name removed), me and this girl we know who drove us saw him in Austin last night, and after the show she got on his tour bus and boned the Gza
OfficialChrisDuncan:  hahahaha
Anonymous Asshole Friend:  it was pretty funny
except for the part where we waited outside the Gza's tour bus for two hours
OfficialChrisDuncan:  wow, that's a lot of boning
OfficialChrisDuncan: was she hot?
Anonymous Asshole Friend:  yeah she's super hot
OfficialChrisDuncan:  that's disappointing
Anonymous Asshole Friend:  we know her boyfriend
Anonymous Asshole Friend:  her boyfriend that deals underground card games for the Dallas mafia

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

RIP UNLIMITED INTERNET 1996-2008

Unfortunately, the concept of "unlimited internet" will be a time in history from the about 1996 (AOL went to monthly fees) to 2008. The concept of paying for "hourly internet" became ridiculous once broadband was available. However, average consumers will be paying for a new unit of internet: bandwidth. Comcast will start enforcing a cap of 250 GB per month while Time Warner is testing tiered bandwidth limits in Texas. This limit may not present many immediate problems -- but its potential impact is far greater than simply handcuffing bandwidth hogs. As Om Malik stated last week, "Much as I would like to think otherwise, this is the end of the Internet as we know it."

GIGA WHAT, GIGA WHO
People will have to learn to put bandwidth into context. It's easy for a regular person to understand how much something costs if they're being charged by the hour. Understanding the cost of a unit of data is more difficult. You can understand that 1000 megabytes equals 1 gigabyte -- but without context that means very little.

At the same time, how will we accurately measure data transfer throughout an entire household? A family with multiple PCs (and children) will be hard to track. The New York Times does a good job summarizing a few common bandwidth hogs:

Casual Internet users who merely send e-mail messages, check movie times and read the news are not likely to exceed the caps. But people who watch television shows on Hulu.com, rent movies on iTunes or play the multiplayer game Halo on Xbox may start to exceed the limits — and millions of people are already doing those things.

Streaming an hour of video on Hulu, which shows programs like “Saturday Night Live,” “Family Guy” and “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” consumes about 200 megabytes, or one-fifth of a gigabyte. A higher-quality hour of the same content bought through Apple’s iTunes store can use about 500 megabytes, or half a gigabyte.

A high-definition episode of “Survivor” on CBS.com can use up to a gigabyte, and a DVD-quality movie through Netflix’s new online service can eat up about five gigabytes. One Netflix download alone, in fact, could bring a user to the limit on the cheapest plan in Time Warner’s trial in Beaumont.

I can guarantee that Hulu, NetFlix, XBox 360, PlayStation 3, and the iPhone (not yet but probably soon) will create numerous "overage" headaches for families in the not-so-distant future. It's a lot like when food was first labeled with calories because people will have to understand the inherent cost of downloading content. It will cost a few bucks to download an HD movie, but it will also cost you a quarter (up to a buck) to the cable company. According to Business Week in 1996, most of AOL's revenue came from "monthly and hourly fees it charges members--$9.95 for the first five hours and $2.95 for each hour after that." With Comcast's 12 Mb connection, you could potentially download 5GB in an hour. Let's say they charge you $50/month with a 250 GB cap -- that hour of downloading was just $1. You're doing a little better than AOL in 1996 -- but who knows how the overages will compare. Keep in mind that the average internet bill was probably much less than the $50 we pay for broadband now.

STILL C.A.P.
I'm sure many of you are saying, "I'm no internet pirate" or "I live by myself". You won't reach the cap... yet. Even so, the cap combined with Moore's Law means that you're paying the same amount for something of diminishing value.

Your previously "unlimited" service is now "limited". The proposed limit or cap means that downloading a certain amount will result in an overage (obviously, further explanation below). Even so, your "unlimited" service actually was limited by the max speed of your connection (10 mb/s for my Time Warner connection) and because the connection is shared with other households (your combined speeds have a set limit).

If you weren't peeved by the idea of a cap, consider the fact that bandwidth costs less and less every day. Taken from Wikipedia, here's an excerpt on Moore's Law:

Network capacity According to Gerry/Gerald Butters,[19][20] the former head of Lucent's Optical Networking Group at Bell Labs, there is another version, called Butter's Law of Photonics,[21] a formulation which deliberately parallels Moore's law. Butter's law[22] says that the amount of data coming out of an optical fiber is doubling every nine months. Thus, the cost of transmitting a bit over an optical network decreases by half every nine months. The availability of wavelength-division multiplexing (sometimes called "WDM") increased the capacity that could be placed on a single fiber by as much as a factor of 100. Optical networking and DWDM is rapidly bringing down the cost of networking, and further progress seems assured. As a result, the wholesale price of data traffic collapsed in the dot-com bubble. Nielsen's Law says that the bandwidth available to users increases by 50% annually.[23]

You know the way you see that "capacity ticker" before you log into GMail? You know how it's always going up? The cable companies aren't making any promises and don't expect them to adapt quickly. Even if less than 1% of users go over 250 GB of data transfer a month, who is to say that won't be normal in the near future? I bet there are a lot of households that use over 100 GB/month. Those people realistically have a chance of surpassing a 250 GB cap within the next year or two.

I think it's realistic to say that at least 5-10% of people will go over that limit (they might not surpass the limit EVERY month) in the near future. I think that number could be as high as 15%. The point is that the cable companies won't adapt to future usage. In any case, the cap will surely affect more than "less than 1% of users" in a year or two -- not quite as harmless as it sounds. I'm a seasoned internet user and downloader and I really couldn't tell you exactly how much I download. I'd guess between 100-150 GB, but it really does vary.

GOLD DIGGERS
Another problem with the cap is that it's indirectly anti-competitive. Back when AOL was pay-per-hour, it still had free areas. Time Warner and Comcast could do something very similar. Time Warner could offer CNN news clips without counting the download to the cap. At the same time, the cap will also encourage users to use DVR or On Demand since there is no added cost of these services. That also means that content creators will still have to find ways to get onto DVR/On Demand. It would be a lot harder to binge-watch a season of Lost or 24 if it eliminates 10-20% of your monthly download allotment. Translated into dollars, that's an extra $5 to $10 in "cost-to-download". That means it will be extremely difficult to achieve success comparable to broadcast/cable television... without also being on broadcast or cable television.

GUILTY CONSCIENCE
Exceeding the cap will have consequences beyond simple overage charges. Per Download.com, Comcast reserves the right to suspend your account for a year if you go over the cap twice in a six month period. What if there are no other high speed internet options in your area? What if you're locked into a one year contract? I think that's absurd. There are a million arguments against this move.

Time Warner and Comcast would both like to claim that this policy is designed to curb piracy. However, I would imagine that this will actually have the opposite effect. Pirates have always been experts at side-stepping connection and bandwidth issues. They used to split files so they could fit on floppy disks and so dropping your connection wouldn't cost you hours of wasted time. Pirates popularized file compression like ZIP & RAR and adopted compressed video formats like MPEG4 and DIVX/XVID. The same people conceived P2P file-sharing. Do you really think that ABC is going to figure out the best way to get you Lost before they do? Pirates will most likely optimize video for these caps over time. Hulu might be the new hotness -- but it still doesn't edge mininova or ThePirateBay by much in the traffic department.

Hulu, mininova, and ThePirateBay all have similar levels of traffic

What's the best way to avoid the cap? The simple answer: don't use the internet. That's actually not right. The best way to sidestep the cap is to avoid using YOUR internet. Back when AOL was charged per-hour, kids were phishing like it was going out of style. Now, they won't even have to phish. The same "less than 1%" that does all of the downloading will just figure out a way to hack everybody's wireless. Wonderful, isn't it? At least the first time you surpass the cap, you can just say "I think I was hacked" and avoid paying for it.

HATE IT OR LOVE IT
What are the solutions? There probably aren't many that make sense for both consumers and ISP's. There might be a way to wrap bandwidth cost into the cost of content, but you could only hit the big boys (media companies) with that one. Given their aversion to innovation, they'd prefer to let the ISP's play bad guy here. In my opinion, a lot of the solutions may already be here. The remaining potential solutions (that I can think of) go back to roots in piracy. This climate will create a host of new opportunities for file sharing and video compression. It also may force us to go back to the drawing board. Maybe people will create "download stations" that will quickly write DVDs or fill USB memory sticks. Because right now, the fastest way to transfer 8 GB to a consumer... is to overnight them a DVD. Fortunately, the US Postal Service's rates won't screw "less than 1%" of their customers.

OCD Imagery: Dr. J's Girlfriend Dorus Madden

Julius Erving is the man. Well-known for his dunks and short shorts, you can see him in Dr. Pepper commercials now. I'm not sure which of those impresses Dorus Madden the most, but I am quite impressed with her. So that brings us to the question of the day: Would you rather have Dorus Madden or Sarah Palin? I think Dorus wins in my book... barely.

You'd have the same shit-eating grin on your face

Sarah Palin is the Vice President of SASSY

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

OCD Quote of the Day 8/28

I was watching Democratic National Convention coverage last night on MSNBC. First, has anybody noticed that Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann cut each other off constantly? Ridiculous. Second, I think Bill Clinton could be elected again if he were allowed to run. His speech was pretty impressive. Third, less united/unity talk. Get a new slogan.... and don't say "change". That's pretty much like the drink-drank-drunk rule in Asshole.


The real reason for this post was the incredible live interviews by Chris Matthews. Apparently, NBC thought it would be awesome to get some real people on camera. The first guy was a McCain supporter with a mustache and sideburns who looked he was from 1980. My favorite person was last though. I don't know if this woman was nervous or just stupid, but she had some trouble explaining herself. I like the way she doesn't even say the word "President" or "White House" or "nomination".


Chris Matthews: Ok, madam
Dumb American: Yes
Chris Matthews: Well, that's all I do is ask. I don't have a question. Your feelings, your thoughts about tonight? I didn't think it was unexpectedly harmonious. You're right -- I'm part of the media that thought it would be a bigger fight. But I also don't know what's going on below the surface. When people like Governor Rendell continue to do what they do... I'm not sure what's going on.
Dumb American: Here's the thing, Chris: we've got new blood coming in here... black... Obama. OK? We have his wife. The first black female, as um... first, the First Lady of this country. That is incredible. We have Hillary Clinton. The first woman that has been and gotten this far and has been so gracious in this week and in her speech yesterday passing it off to Obama. That is incredible and very awesome in this country. That's huge.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Colt McCoy is a Bad Ass

If you didn't already know, Colt McCoy wields a football hammer. At least that's the case in this picture that my brother sent me. He's also wearing a hard hat. I'm not really sure why. At least it's better than the infamous "HI, I'M COLT MCCOY" commercial where he pimps his dad's drug store.

He should keep that hammer away from his weak ass neck nerves

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

OCD Breakdown: Beijing Olympics Week 1

I've been neglecting the OCDeez and I can feel your icy glare. I'm going to blame it on the Olympics. If you didn't already know, the Olympics have been killing in the ratings. NBC's ratings for Saturday night (Michael Phelps, etc.) were higher than any broadcast since a Golden Girls episode in 1990. But that means that the Olympics have been wildly successful -- ABC, CBS, and FOX are going to register their worst people meter ratings of all time. I've been watching a lot of Olympic coverage lately, so I've taken the time to break it down from those of you who have "lives". There's a lot of reading here, and I apologize for that. But rest assured, there are pictures of hot female Olympians below.
  • Al Trautwig as the announcer on the gymnastics floor is hilarious. Al Trautwig is a familiar figure in New York as a correspondent for MSG. New Yorkers are used to him covering Knicks games, so it was quite hilarious to hear him calling gymnastics. The best moment was when a Japanese vaulter completely botched a landing and he let out a strong but gentle "oh my goodness". Classic.

  • Two of my favorite commercials so far are McCain's "Original Maverick" and the one where the sprinter's dad helps him to the finish (with Morgan Freeman narrating). McCain essentially throws Bush under the bus and throws the "Original Maverick" badge on there. Can he just bring back "Straight Talk Express" already? This guy is out of touch. The sprinter commercial is just OK, but somebody I was with proposed an interesting hypothetical: wouldn't it be awesome if a swimmer went down the same way and then his dad jumped in the water and doggy-paddle-dragged his son to the finish line? The image brings a tear to my eye.

  • The Chinese have dominated the gold medals. They have to be stopped. Olympic Basketball needs to count for like 10 gold medals to make it a level playing field -- or we need to eliminate synchronized diving and shooting. Those two competitions account for 9 of the Chinese gold medals.

  • Michael Phelps is an animal. There isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. There was a great moment during the Bob Costas-mediated conversation between Phelps and Mark Spitz. Costas essentially asked Spitz if Michael Phelps was the greatest swimmer and Olympian of all time (before he won the 8th gold medal). There was clearly lag time between when Spitz would hear the question and give his answer. So before he could answer the question, Phelps thought the question was directed at him at started with "Well, if you had asked me...". At this point, we don't even need to ask him. 8 gold medals, bitches. Let's see you try to pull that off, Chinese people.

  • I thank NBC for the inane retrospective on Glenn Cowan going to China. Who is Glenn Cowan? He was a table tennis player that went to China and was part of the Ping Pong Diplomacy. I found his bat-shit-crazy haircut much more interesting than that.

GAY DIX & DONG DONG


There are a lot of crazy names in the Olympics, so I took a couple camera pictures of my two favorites. One is from a sprinting heat with two American names (Gay & Dix) lined up together. The other is the name of Chinese diver Dong Dong. "Chris Duncan" is so generic.


HOT FEMALE OLYMPIANS



The Olympics are great because they showcase hundreds of incredibly fit women. Two of my personal favorites have been Katarzyna Skowronska and Sheena Tosta. I could make a typical T&A post, but the OCD is all about C-L-A-S-S. I'm going to try to be as gentlemanly as possible while treading in crude territory.

KATARZYNA "KASIA" SKOWRONSKA

Katarzyna AKA Kasia is a Polish volleyball player. Not only is she hot, but she is also a bad ass. She's generally considered the best spiker in the world. Feel free to make your own sex-related joke about that one. What's not to like about a girl that's tall, beautiful, toned, and talented girl that wears booty shorts and knee pads for a living. Feel free to make your own Polish sausage-related joke here.





SHEENA TOSTA
This girl has pretty much everything you could want. It's nice to see a female sprinter that isn't humongous. She went to UCLA, so she's also smart. I think our beautiful, mocha baby could bring home a gold medal in 2030.





"NASTY" NASTIA LIUKIN
This one is for Doug and Brad. People love Nastia. I've had several people demand that I get her into Playboy somehow. Don't worry guys... I'll use my incredible influence to get that done. The good thing about Nastia is that she doesn't have a hulking gymnast body.






KERI WALSH AND MISTY MAY-TREANOR
The hottest thing here is the idea of a package deal. They both have husbands... so what? I'm a big time internet blogger. It's not even a competition. I'm not that crazy for either one of them, but there are times when get me quite hot and bothered. See below:


SHAWN JOHNSON
Don't say Shawn Johnson. I have a handful of sick friends that feel the need to notify everybody of their desire to bone Shawn Johnson whenever they showed her. That shit is gross. Only Sergei Fedorov and Stephen Coletti can pull that shit off. Sergei is too old now, so Stephen Coletti from Laguna Beach will be hitting that in a matter of months.




My favorite girls are Katarzyna and Sheena. I think I'm going to have to go with Katarzyna here, but it's basically a tie. Who is the hottest female Olympian to you? I'm thinking that Nastia and Shawn Johnson are going to clean up. You can also put your own answers into the poll.