You can tell that my friends are quality individuals. I had to change one detail slightly so it's not completely obvious who this is. In any case, this is one of the best stories of all time.
Anonymous Asshole Friend: ya know, i dont think i ever told you the funniest thing that happened to me while i was down south
Official Chris Duncan: haha
Anonymous Asshole Friend: so good ... the last night i was there, when i went to the strip club and got 20 mins worth of lap dances
Anonymous Asshole Friend: i get a text from my sister that just says "mom is asleep"
Anonymous Asshole Friend: because apparently, the stripper, while performing said lap dance
Official Chris Duncan: haha
Anonymous Asshole Friend: grinded on my phone, and called my mom
Official Chris Duncan: amazing
Anonymous Asshole Friend: yeah, i mean, you cant even make taht shit up haha
Speaking of moms and floozies, check out the Supersquan blog about the previous weekend. Nothing can be more embarrassing than having to bring a girl home to your parents house and then having mama take care of the ride-of-shame. Having it happen on Mother's Day just makes it more shameful.
I'm also waiting for a recount of the Vegas stripper story I heard last night. My roommate Brad was in Vegas rolling deep -- and they had to leave a man behind.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Alert: Megan Fox Topless
I figured this was enough to constitute a blog post. Megan Fox was nice enough to take her top off and show her absolutely perfect body. Thanks to Mangan for sending this link and making my day/week/year/life. Mangan will be blogging all summer from the Dirty Jersey shore, so check it out.
Too bad Megan Fox is engaged to Brian Austin Green. You know, the guy from fucking 90210. Who wants to rent a U-Haul, buy a weapon, and find his house with me? I had to categorize this as bat-shit-crazy because it still baffles me that BAG scored Megan Fox. Extreme bitterness.
Check it out here... before the server crashes.
This is Brian Austin Green mocking you
Too bad Megan Fox is engaged to Brian Austin Green. You know, the guy from fucking 90210. Who wants to rent a U-Haul, buy a weapon, and find his house with me? I had to categorize this as bat-shit-crazy because it still baffles me that BAG scored Megan Fox. Extreme bitterness.
Check it out here... before the server crashes.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Darren McCarty's Teeth Are F*cked
Something went horribly wrong with his teeth in between his two stints with the Red Wings. He went to rehab twice and once for an undisclosed substance... meth maybe? Teeth don't get that way from hockey... especially when you're not playing that much.
So far, this is the only negative part of the NHL in HD experience. I strongly suggest watching some playoff hockey. It may surprise you to know that you get Versus (the main channel for the NHL with NBC handling the weekend games). Maybe you didn't realize it was on because Versus sandwiches the NHL between HOLY @#%*! and Bull Riding. I guess hockey is actually the shitty lead-in since the Versus website lists Bull Riding before NHL Hockey. Hey, at least the NHL has clawed its way back to relevancy on the ESPN header. I'm pretty sure it was lifted after Women's Hoops at one point.
Darren McCarty "has a smile only a mother could love"
So far, this is the only negative part of the NHL in HD experience. I strongly suggest watching some playoff hockey. It may surprise you to know that you get Versus (the main channel for the NHL with NBC handling the weekend games). Maybe you didn't realize it was on because Versus sandwiches the NHL between HOLY @#%*! and Bull Riding. I guess hockey is actually the shitty lead-in since the Versus website lists Bull Riding before NHL Hockey. Hey, at least the NHL has clawed its way back to relevancy on the ESPN header. I'm pretty sure it was lifted after Women's Hoops at one point.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Summer Fashion: Nips and Snatch
I wish more girls would wear Old Navy. The new Old Navy commercial in the "Neon Nights" series runs on national television very often and resident nipple sleuth Alex pointed out that a nip makes a brief appearance. With his expert DVR skills, we were able to use slow-mo and find the exact instant that nipple is most evident. The pictures are below:
Most likely due to the fact that I have the television habits of a 13 year-old girl, I have seen that same Old Navy commercial about 20 times in the past week. If you haven't noticed, Old Navy has been re-positioning its products by creating commercials that try to convince teens that a young adult model may wear one of their garments to a hot night club. It definitely has that "The Hills" vibe. The new idea is low cost clothing but high fashion style. Not a bad idea if H&M, Zara, etc. weren't already doing it. It's at least better than the solid color background commercials that showed the piece and the price. Although my research for this post indicated that this new line got generally positive reviews. The other funny thing was my search brought me to a blog post asking how often its readers went bra-lass. Here's the actual commercial:
Nip happens at 1:36 but it's slightly different in the 30 second spot
Coincidentally, I got a picture message from my friend Cully today. He's in Istanbul on tour with The Gutter Twins. They just played in Lisbon and Athens... lucky bastard. He came across a wall postered for a brand called Snatch Street Fashion. This is probably one of the sweetest logos of all time. I usually don't wear my huge diamond ring when I plan on deploying the shocker. But maybe it's time to start.
Most likely due to the fact that I have the television habits of a 13 year-old girl, I have seen that same Old Navy commercial about 20 times in the past week. If you haven't noticed, Old Navy has been re-positioning its products by creating commercials that try to convince teens that a young adult model may wear one of their garments to a hot night club. It definitely has that "The Hills" vibe. The new idea is low cost clothing but high fashion style. Not a bad idea if H&M, Zara, etc. weren't already doing it. It's at least better than the solid color background commercials that showed the piece and the price. Although my research for this post indicated that this new line got generally positive reviews. The other funny thing was my search brought me to a blog post asking how often its readers went bra-lass. Here's the actual commercial:
Coincidentally, I got a picture message from my friend Cully today. He's in Istanbul on tour with The Gutter Twins. They just played in Lisbon and Athens... lucky bastard. He came across a wall postered for a brand called Snatch Street Fashion. This is probably one of the sweetest logos of all time. I usually don't wear my huge diamond ring when I plan on deploying the shocker. But maybe it's time to start.
Friday, May 9, 2008
At Bunny Headquarters
our concert at the Darkroom. The Heavy is about to rock this town.
That's why I have to make sure our girls have their wifebeaters and
got2b hair gel to pass out.
Monday, May 5, 2008
The Real World Hollywood is Special
We watched the last Real World and I have to say that I was thoroughly entertained. We didn't get very far into the LA version of this show without encountering the infamous promoter-douchebag species. I have to deal with some of these people at work and they are quite greasy. Some are better than others, but of course Brianna brought home the biggest douche of them all: JoJo. He's got a faux-hawk, wears eyeliner, opts not to wear a shirt under his hoodie, and has no problem dry-humping people in public.
JoJo mounts Brianna as Kimberly and Sarah watch in horror... and prepare their next holier-than-thou speech for Bri (because they care about her, not because they're judgmental)
I've been praying on a daily basis that this guy makes a return to the show. The most impressive feat (other than bringing his douchebaggery into the house) was when he essentially mounted Brianna as the roomies were hanging out in the kitchen. It would be one thing if they were alone and Brianna wasn't wearing boy-shorts and a thong... but this d-bag is forcing the issue (and his semi) into the uncomfortable zone. Also, does anybody else think that Brianna looks like "The Twins" from The Matrix: Reloaded?
Brianna is going for the Matrix: Reloaded look
I've been praying on a daily basis that this guy makes a return to the show. The most impressive feat (other than bringing his douchebaggery into the house) was when he essentially mounted Brianna as the roomies were hanging out in the kitchen. It would be one thing if they were alone and Brianna wasn't wearing boy-shorts and a thong... but this d-bag is forcing the issue (and his semi) into the uncomfortable zone. Also, does anybody else think that Brianna looks like "The Twins" from The Matrix: Reloaded?
Friday, May 2, 2008
Matthew McConaughey (allegedly) uses HGH
The best stoned/naked bongo player the entire world has HGH to thank for all of his records. I hate to break it to you, but the golden boy takes HGH. How do I know this? I injected it into his ass. Not really -- there's no Canseco-style smoking syringe here. I actually worked an event last year with a model named Amber Hay. She's been in a few movies (including Beerfest) and was Joe Francis's girlfriend... before he went to jail and became somebody's bitch. However, she's best known for impersonating Paris Hilton in a fake music video that is still one of the top 100 videos all-time on YouTube with 21,000,000+ views.
Amber Hay and Matthew McConaughey are linked on WhosDatedWho.com
Amber came out to dinner with us after CollegeFest and we talked the whole time. So far as I can remember, she's from Hawaii and her dad was a professional surfer. She moved to California within the past couple years and has been pursuing a career in acting since then. She actually seemed pretty down to earth -- which you might not expect with her look and profession. We eventually ended up talking about one of her recent projects. She said she had been working with Matthew McConaughey called Surfer Dude. She then went on to say that he used HGH. I wouldn't post this if I thought it was bullshit. There's even a comment in a blog post from JustJared that accuses him of using HGH. I mean, look at the guy... and he's almost 40 now. Amber didn't bring it up to be malicious -- she was actually trying to defend him. You know, that old "it's competitive in Hollywood and your body/face are your livelihood" argument that you hear constantly on E! when they do shows about eating disorders or plastic surgery.
I actually like the guy because he plays one of the best characters of all time in Dazed and Confused and also is a huge Texas Football fan. I can't really blame the Matthew McConaughey for using HGH. Sylvester Stallone admitted that he used HGH to get in shape for Rocky Balboa. Sly also got caught with a SHITLOAD of Chinese HGH at an airport in Australia. If you watch MTV, every single one of those hulking beasts on Real World/Road Rules Challenge roids. I think they actually recruit them based on how much they can bench press. Let's also not forget that 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, and Wyclef were allegedly customers of a performance enhancing drug ring as well.
Sly Stallone defends HGH use in an interview with Matt Lauer
So I would have to lean towards believing what Amber said. I'm interested to see what other people think, so vote in the poll below:
Amber came out to dinner with us after CollegeFest and we talked the whole time. So far as I can remember, she's from Hawaii and her dad was a professional surfer. She moved to California within the past couple years and has been pursuing a career in acting since then. She actually seemed pretty down to earth -- which you might not expect with her look and profession. We eventually ended up talking about one of her recent projects. She said she had been working with Matthew McConaughey called Surfer Dude. She then went on to say that he used HGH. I wouldn't post this if I thought it was bullshit. There's even a comment in a blog post from JustJared that accuses him of using HGH. I mean, look at the guy... and he's almost 40 now. Amber didn't bring it up to be malicious -- she was actually trying to defend him. You know, that old "it's competitive in Hollywood and your body/face are your livelihood" argument that you hear constantly on E! when they do shows about eating disorders or plastic surgery.
I actually like the guy because he plays one of the best characters of all time in Dazed and Confused and also is a huge Texas Football fan. I can't really blame the Matthew McConaughey for using HGH. Sylvester Stallone admitted that he used HGH to get in shape for Rocky Balboa. Sly also got caught with a SHITLOAD of Chinese HGH at an airport in Australia. If you watch MTV, every single one of those hulking beasts on Real World/Road Rules Challenge roids. I think they actually recruit them based on how much they can bench press. Let's also not forget that 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, and Wyclef were allegedly customers of a performance enhancing drug ring as well.
So I would have to lean towards believing what Amber said. I'm interested to see what other people think, so vote in the poll below:
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