Mobile Post: Shitty Pisser

I'm sure you've dreamed about working for a big time company like
Playboy. But I can tell you what it's REALLY like. I will go into more
detail on the company as I develop this blog.

However, there's one aspect of working here that literally pisses me
off. Our bathroom is HORRIBLE. In the picture, it doesn't look so bad.
But take a look at two details you may not have noticed:

The Floor: It is beautiful granite or marble but the problem is that
its black. The floor is effectively a mirror. I love being able to SEE
my stall neighbor if I happen to look down.

The Tile Splashguard: Look at the waist-high wall separating the sinks
and urinals. Again, it's a beautiful setup ... but it barely covers
my junk. If there are two tall people next to each other, there is
definitely the threat of peripheral penis. I always wash my hands on
the middle sink and use the right-side urinal.

Maybe my follow up post will have a candid cell phone picture of
somebody while they're brown-berrying (also known as dingle-
berrying... which is what I call using the blackberry while on the
toilet). I'm taking credit for both terms unless somebody can prove
they came up with them!

Hitting up the BK to Rock the Rabbit

Lisa found a man that will stare lovingly into her eyes in an office in Williamsburg. I'm still looking for a bitch that can put up with my shit. We're in Brooklyn to talk about the marketing of Playboy's Rock the Rabbit. This was like a field trip for us... we're like lost tourists on the mean streets of BK. Eventually, we reached the office of plusonemusic, our PR team for Rock the Rabbit.

The meeting was in typical Brooklyn style. We went to a spot where the main draws were coffee/tea and cheese plates. We had to grab extra candles from other tables because it was so dark and we couldn't see our papers. I ordered a mate and it came in a giant teabag. The homemade teabag looks like something a drug mule would put in an orifice. The servers had exposed tattoos and facial piercings. We got shit done though. It was a good meeting.

Mission Statement

The Official Chris Duncan blog launches in January 2008 with the many goals. The first of these goals is to distinguish Christopher Daniel Duncan born in New York City from the thousands of other Chris Duncans in the world. This will not be an easy task with competition such as Chris Duncan of the St Louis Cardinals, Chris Duncan the UMass faculty member, and Chris Duncan the Scottish Fiddler. Other notable Chris Duncans include the Chris Duncan of ChrisDuncan.com and Chris Duncan the BMX biker. There is even a Chris Duncan who was an Eminem impersonator turned murderer.


Notable Chris Duncans
Starting with Chris It all started years ago when my parents decided to pick the name Christopher. I actually like the name a lot -- that's not the problem. The problem is that in my birth year (1984), Christopher was the 2nd most popular name given to babies (source: Social Security Administration Popular Baby Names. In fact, Christopher was in the top 5 baby names from 1972 until 2001. Michael was really the only name more common during Christopher during that time. Christopher ranked #7 in 2006.

"Chris Duncan" While Duncan isn't the one of the most common last names, "Chris Duncan" is a popular combo. There are 226,000 web results for "Chris Duncan" on Google. That's around 1/2-1/3 of what you'll find when you search for a much more "common" combination like "James Smith" & "Jim Smith" or "James Johnson" & "Jim Johnson". Now this is getting boring though...

Who the fuck cares? Are you insane? Nobody and yes. But ever since Chris Duncan (Cardinals) gained notoriety for his pictures with the World Series trophy, I've felt inadequate. I was just one Chris Duncan out of thousands. I had spent my whole life as a Chris Duncan and all of these other Chris Duncans were passing me by. My web history included a (dry, somewhat entertaining) blogpost I made as a marketing intern and also UrinalPuck.com (it peaked at about 3-5K people per day and about 50K unique people during that peak month but I blew it up because too many crazy conservative people were frequenting the forums).


Chris Duncan of the Cardinals really rubs it in
You've given me no reason to ever read this site. True. But I can offer friendship and a glimpse into the life of a semi-professional buffoon. And inside information about Playboy. There may also be Chris Duncan naked cell phone pictures in the pipeline. Stay tuned.