OCD Breakdown: The OCDeez Have Spoken

From this point forward, I will refer to my "fans" as OCDeez. I think it's fittingly offensive yet affectionate. If you don't like it, F you. Don't worry though -- we can make Diddy-style transitions to sweet new aliases. You can send me suggestions. They probably won't be as funny as what I come up with though.

But this post is about the opinions of the Deez. There have been numerous polls on this site since its inception with some more surprising than others. We have made incredible discoveries: Sean Connery's Domestic Abuse Is Divisive, Everybody Thinks Matthew McConaughey Uses HGH, and Tim Tebow's Croc-Wearing Can Be Forgiven.

Are these hipster jeans too skinny?

• Not if you're on the L train 4


• Per Paul: Fuck yea those dumbass jeans are too skinny 4


• Maybe, but how else will people know that I like indie rock? 3


• I sold all of my Zubaz pants in 1994 1


• It's not like your penis needs to breathe 1


• But they matched my offensively-colored sunglasses! 0

How many beers did Stanley Kobierowski drink to register a .491 BAC?

• 30+ 15


• 26-30 8


• 21-25 4


• 15-20 0

Should Tim Tebow be allowed to wear Crocs?

• Tebow's Girlfriend Seems Like She Has A Great Personality 7


• Nobody Should Wear Crocs 3


• You've Seen His Jump Pass, Right? 1


• Yes 1


• No 1


• QB Draw 0

Who should ARod do?

• Jeter 5


• Madonna 2


• Joslyn Morse 0

What is your favorite MexiKen picture?

• Timid Climber 6


• Totally DTF 1


• Cross My Heart And Hope To Fabulous 0

Do you think Matthew McConaughey has used HGH?

• Yes 9


• No 2


• Not sure 0

Is it OK to strike a woman? (Response to: http://tinyurl.com/yf6954)

• Only to Avoid a Provocative Last Word Situation 4


• I'm Liberal -- Only with an Open Hand 3


• Whatever Sean Connery Says Is Fine By Me 3


• Other... 2


• Chris Duncan Is Officially An Asshole Because the Answer Is Obviously No 1


• If It Gets Barbara Walters to Stop Bitching at Me 0


• Not Anymore 0

OCD Imagery: Big Guns Are Cool

This is the humongous gatling gun that's inside of the A-10 Warthog. I think we should start mounting these guns on VW Beatles instead of the "Tankbuster". America, Fuck Yeah! From Wikipedia:

Although the A-10 can carry considerable disposable stores, its primary built-in weapon is the 30 mm GAU-8/A Avenger Gatling gun. One of the most powerful aircraft cannons ever flown, it fires large depleted uranium armor-piercing shells. In the original design, the pilot could switch between two rates of fire: 2,100 or 4,200 rounds per minute;[18] this was changed to a fixed rate of 3,900 rounds per minute.[19] The cannon takes about half a second to come up to speed, so 50 rounds are fired during the first second, 65 or 70 rounds per second thereafter. The gun is consistently accurate; it can place 80% of its shots within a 40-foot (12.4 meter) circle from 4,000 feet (1,220 meters) while in flight.[20] The GAU-8 is optimized for a slant range of 4,000 feet (1,220 m) with the A-10 in a 30 degree dive.[21]

"... That's What She Said"

OCD Poll: Too Skinny?

Riding the V train this morning, I saw some extreme hipster fashion. I am 100% against skinny jeans and I could NEVER rock a pair like this. I think these are made for a 12 year-old girl except they're on a 25 year-old dude. Even if I chose to wear them, I don't know if I could physically get my body (and huge junk) into them. Take the poll below and let me know if these skinny jeans are TOO SKINNY:

He may have crammed his penis into those jeans, but no denim can ever contain his shame

OCD Snooze SkillZ

OCD Quote of the day 7/24

"Stanley Kobierowski, 34, was arrested in Providence, R.I., after smashing his car into an electronic message sign. According to state police, he allegedly blew a .489 and .491 on a Breathalyzer at the scene. That's more than six times the state's legal limit. He was brought to a local hospital and held for two days until sober enough to be arraigned, police said."

Stanley Kobierowski is a bad bad man. When I was in Cabo last March, we were getting somewhat sauced and one of the Cali kids had his own breathalyzer. My friend Alex gave it a whirl and he blew a .300. We both assumed this was wayyyy too high and that he would be crawling if he actually had a .300 BAC. But .489 is just a new level of insanity. That guy should be dead right now. The feat amazes me for two reasons 1) his body didn’t shut down before he reached that BAC and 2) he was able to drink that much volume of liquid. Let’s say he did all of his damage in a 6-8 hour span. I bet he drank between 20-30 beers in that time. Take the poll below and weigh in:


Want to be famous by seeing your name on my blog? Email a tip or potential quote of the day to officialchrisduncan@gmail.com.

What's Worse Than Getting Caught With A Tranny?

You'd probably get a lot of different answers for that question. But ask Eddie Murphy and he'd probably tell you Meet Dave. Meet Dave is the new (soon-to-be-gone) Eddie Murphy movie about 100 martians that come to Earth in a human-shaped spaceship... that looks like Eddie Murphy. It's your classic fish-out-of-water, martian-comes-to-Earth-and-falls-in-love piece of garbage. So pretty much Earth Girls Are Easy minus the entertainment value.

I refuse to acknowledge that 80's fashion is back until I see somebody wearing a black and blue paisley leather suit with leather gloves and a silk scarf. Stop kidding yourself.
What does that have to do with a tranny? Not much. But you may remember that back in 1997, Eddie Murphy was stopped by police with a transvestite prostitute. We all know how that feels. The following months were a PR nightmare for the star that hurt the opening of his next movie. Holy Man opened 5th at the box office on a little over 2000 screens and made $5.1mn -- which is bad but not horrible given the situation. Holy Man also scored a miserable 10% on Rotten Tomatoes.

How did Meet Dave fare in its opening weekend? The short answer: "Eddie Murphy should stick to voice acting". This crappy Earth Girls Are Easy ripoff was showing on about 3000 screens (50% more than Holy Man) and finished SEVENTH with $5.25mn. OK, I know it's harder to score a hit in the summer... but he couldn't do better than Steve Carell's sloppy fourths (Get Smart has been out for a month). This won't gross more than $25mn domestically and Eddie Murphy movies haul in $104mn on average. I mean, I'd expect a piss poor performance like that out of somebody like Jason Statham... but Eddie Murphy? I've offered similar advice to Leelee Sobieski; FIRE YOUR AGENT, EDDIE!

Old School Miami Slice

This shirt is awesome. I'm not a huge Kimbo fan, but I can at least appreciate the artistic value. I would like to see Kimbo get destroyed by Emilianenko... but that will never happen. Check out this sweet shirt:

Don't worry... I'd cut the sleeves off