Bringing PenisBack

In a horrible twist of irony, a Chinese baby has been born with "extra manhood" on his back. I wonder what that scar is going to look like. Thanks for sending this to me at work, Nikolai.

Worst Ads of All Time

The new WNBA commercials are horrible. They all start with WNBA stars lambasting women's basketball before it ends with "SHE WOULDN'T SAY THAT. WOULD YOU?" Don't get me wrong -- that grabs your attention and makes a point. On the other hand, they seriously fail to evoke any actions from a viewer.

At best, they can get somebody who dislikes women's basketball to say "hey, it's not so bad". If you have a viewer that's neutral or already a fan, there's nothing for them to take away from the message. At the same time, the commercial opens with overwhelmingly negative comments about women's basketball. Nobody is going to seek the WNBA on TV or buy game tickets after seeing those spots. It's like the NFL coming out with a Michael Vick/Pacman Jones commercial preaching the virtues of thug life. Although that probably WOULD increase viewership and sell tickets.

Below are two of the videos that I've actually seen on TV (during NBA games). The Candace Parker spot on top is probably worse. She has some pretty harsh words while they show a montage of WNBA highlights. The second one... I don't even have to say anything here. Even the first WNBA ad campaign ("We Got Next") is better than this crap. You can watch them for yourself and decide how much of a sexist douchebag I am...

OCD Actual Conversation & Work Email

Below are two recent exchanges ... one between me and a friend (Anonymous Asshole Friend) and the other is with my co-worker Lisa K and a girl that wanted a job in our department. Two things are clear: Isiah Thomas is a jackass and you should put more than 5 minutes of effort into a cover letter.

OCD: Now Cablevision is trying again, with a $15 million campaign — the biggest since Fuse was introduced in 2003 — and yet another attempt to portray Fuse as a source of mainstream music. This time, Cablevision is turning to one of its own to make the marketing work: Kristin Dolan, who, in addition to being a senior vice president at the company, is the wife of James L. Dolan, Cablevision’s chief executive.
AAF: hahaha awesome
OCD: In addition to boning the CEO, she is also a marketing person
AAF: and isiah thomas has been named general manager, president and head coach of the fuse network


From Lisa
> Hi Cameron:
>
> Thanks for sending this through. A word to the wise, when you are
> sending a cover letter, you should probably fill in the generic blanks
> before sending :)

Cameron's Response
I'm mortified. Thank you for telling me instead of just not
responding, now it's a mistake I'll never make again. Sorry for
wasting your time and I appreciate your response.

OCD Actual Work Email

We have a lot of RFP's (requests for proposals) from a variety of clients. The main advertisers that care about what I do (college marketing) are usually video games, movie/DVD releases, and grooming products. This note came from one of our sales guys along with the RFP document. Our sales guy took it one step further by explaining a part of the plot we may have missed. This email is quite ridiculous (and yes, this is the entire email with nothing deleted).

Thanks again Stephen.

How do you think we could incorporate Just Cause 2 to Spring Break?

Again there’s this miniature, evil billionaire who hires 6 beautiful women (hopefully Playmates) as his ninja body guards. The guys lives on his own tropical island

Lindsay Lohan's Gust-o @ MTV Movie Awards

Linz walked the red carpet and showed off her svelt look and also her undies. ThisIsLondon has posted pictures from the MTV Movie Awards.


A few important notes:

• An untimely gust of wind lifted Lindsay Lohan's dress before she could fight it back down.
• Rumer Willis still needs chin-reduction surgery
• Megan Fox looked amazing and should never stand next to anybody EVER... it's just not fair (she's also smart enough to hold her dress down)
• Anne Hathaway, who I think is dreamy, wins award for most resembling the main character from the movie Powder
• As much as I want to hate Heidi Montague, she looks FUCKING great
• Sarah Jessica Parker broke the world record for eyeshadow... she looks like she's possessed
• Rainn Wilson came oh-so-close to Brian-Austin-Greening Megan Fox

OCD Quote of the Day 5/30

"As an American I am ashamed and embarrassed that this film was made. I pray that it's a huge failure."

Those were the words of Kevin from College Station, TX. He would like to apologize to the rest of the world for the piece of shit that is Sex and the City. I actually respect SATC as an entertainment property but think that it does have a negative effect on our society. Prepare yourself for my SATC Weekend posts. It's going to be fab.




Want to be famous by seeing your name on my blog? Email a tip or potential quote of the day to officialchrisduncan@gmail.com.

OCD Quote of the Day 5/29

"I lost my head. I even had money with me. I don’t know why I took the stuff."

That is the apology of a man that decided to steal a chocolate penis and Playboy Bunny from a store. He wanted to give them to his fiancee. You can read about his shame here. Also, why don't they make chocolate breasts or vaginas? Maybe they should start...



Want to be famous by seeing your name on my blog? Email a tip or potential quote of the day to officialchrisduncan@gmail.com.