Mobile Post @ MSG

I'm here at the Garden watching the Knickerbockers DESTROY the
Pistons. It defies all logic. Z-Bo is tearing it up and Jared
Jeffries has three highlight-worthy shots. At the the time of this
post, the Pistons are down by 29.

This is truly shocking. Right now, Tayshaun has 0 points and Rip has
3. McDyess is the only Pistons player worth a damn tonight. I've seen
a lot of Afflalo and Stuckey. Maxiell has gotten some time and even
Fabio-style Walter Hermann has gotten into the game. I'm still
wondering who the massive white guy on the Pistons is (later
identified as Brezec). I haven't seen an NBA game since Spurs/Pistons
game 6 of the finals in San Antonio.

I just came within two rows of a catching a shirt slingshotted by the
Knicks City Dancers. I would have gotten physical with the 11 year old
in front of me if it had been shot one row higher. It was very similar
to a Yankee game about ten years ago. The kid in front of me brought a
catcher's mitt. He kept acting out a fantasy where he caught a foul
ball over his head. Make no mistake... had a ball come our way, I
would have elevated to make the grab.

We also saw a sweet wheelchair basketball game. Rest of the shitty
iPhone pics to come later.

FYI - Playboy is likely having two parties in LA and Boston for the
slam dunk/skills on February 16. Be there!

SPRING BREEEEAAAAAK!!!

Playboy Spring Break is going to be in Cabo once again. We got our shirts in today and Charlie and I tested them out. First, we did the classic Spring Break pose... then we actually put them on. Apparently, Charlie looks great in a women's small. We can tell you who our bands are for Cabo now (booking the rest of their flights next week):

Week 1 (March 8-11): Your Vegas and David Sides
Week 2 (March 22-25): Beasts of Eden and Paul Dateh & DJ inka one

It's going to be AWESOME.

Sunrise in Cabo. A good time to go to sleep.

Fucked Up on Google Juice

I'm riding high after checking out Google Analytics earlier. On Thursday, I got one of the most important Google hits in the short history of this site. You can see on the image below that somebody searched for Chris Duncan of the Cardinals and got to my page. That's one baby step forward. You people stay on my site for an average of 4:53. That's humongous. Upcoming plans: work on the Official Chris Duncan MySpace page. Friend me.



UPDATE ON BUCKET LIST POST: I SORT OF KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT... NOW LET'S SEE IF IT ACTUALLY TANKS AFTER A MONTH... GOD I HOPE SO (Veggietales is only on about 1000 screens, so that prediction will be completely wrong. The Bucket List opens on 2919 screens... I'm gonna guess Juno is #1 with $17.7 million)

Per Hollywood Reporter 1/11 - "Warner Bros. had good success in limited release with "The Bucket List," starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as terminal cancer patients trying to life their remaining days to the fullest, which it broadens into wide release today with 2,919 engagements. Even a weekend performance of about $15 million likely would capture the frame, and that could give Warners an incredible four films in the boxoffice top 10."

Per Reuters 1/11 - "Box office prognosticators believe "The Bucket List" could earn upwards of $15 million, a little ahead of "First Sunday" and "Juno." Nicolas Cage's "National Treasure" sequel logged a third round at the top last weekend with $20 million, a 49 percent drop in sales."

Per BoxOfficeGuru (Gitesh Pandya) 1/10 - "Hurting Bucket's chances are the mixed reviews it's been getting from critics. The target audience for this particular movie will definitely be affected by what reviewers have to say. Also, the picture has come up almost empty-handed during awards seasons so it has less marketing tools in its arsenal than the handful of acclaimed adult dramas touting their awards and nominations. In limited release, Bucket scored muscular per-theater numbers over the last two frames averaging $20,989 and $20,424 from only 16 locations. Co-star drawing power will not shoot this film up to the opening weekend levels of recent Jack flicks like The Departed or Anger Management. But even his less flashy films generate solid debut numbers due to his loyal fan following. Kicking its way into 2,911 theaters, The Bucket List could debut with about $15M."

Mobile Post: My New Haircut

My roommate is a model, so I've heard firsthand about the shit that
they deal with. You're judged, poked, prodded, and sometimes worse --
and you have to eat that shit and smile. I guess that's the trade off
for a $1000+ day rate and free, awesome clothes.

I pass the poster of the above image nearly every day before I enter
the 53rd street E, F, V station. I always think to myself "if I get
more cut and stop wearing a shirt, girls will be hanging off of
me" ... that's the point, right? I noticed something that turned me
off to this ad though. The guy and the girl have the EXACT same
haircut. The question is: who had it first?

P.S. I will be that jacked before spring break... that's another post
for another time (next week)

Bucket Fanny

The Bucket List opens tomorrow. Is anybody going to see it? I was walking through the subway yesterday and saw the poster for it and Jack Nicholson's teeth are scary. You can check that out on the official site here. Maybe you want to add The Bucket List's facebook application! Sweet viral marketing.

I actually think The Bucket List will do well this weekend. Why? Two big time stars. There's nothing opening that's going after the same audience (First Sunday, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggietales Movie... longest titles ever?). They could be hurt by parents taking their kids to Veggietales. TBL opens on 2800 screens tomorrow (per Hollywood Reporter) and it killed in its opening weekend (limited release, 16 screens) with a per screen of $20,989. For comparison, I Am Legend did $21,411 in its opening weekend (but on 3000+ screens).

I see The Bucket List taking in about $14-16 million this weekend. I feel like Veggietales will pull in around the same amount but more -- but that's a complete guess. This weekend will be a lot like last weekend with a handful of movies bringing in similar revenue. But after the first week, TBL will not have staying power. You can look at the daily chart and see that it's averages have dropped dramatically in its 3rd week of limited release. This drop will be magnified when it's in 2800 screens and I would be surprised if it made it past 6 weeks. I think the domestic gross will be close the $45 million production budget, making it a profitable movie (don't think it'll crack $60 mn domestically). But you'd expect more out of this duo. Another thing: it's written by a 36 year old writer. That's probably why a handful of reviews called it "manipulative".

It's borderline insane to think this much about The Bucket List in this depth. It's probably because I'm really against this movie. I just think it's going to be crap -- maybe I'll be wrong. However, this is from the same guy who had high expectations for Wild Hogs.... and I enjoyed the hell out of that movie.

UPDATE: Veggietales is only on about 1000 screens, so that prediction will be completely wrong. The Bucket List opens on 2919 screens.

Mobile Post: Shitty Pisser

I'm sure you've dreamed about working for a big time company like
Playboy. But I can tell you what it's REALLY like. I will go into more
detail on the company as I develop this blog.

However, there's one aspect of working here that literally pisses me
off. Our bathroom is HORRIBLE. In the picture, it doesn't look so bad.
But take a look at two details you may not have noticed:

The Floor: It is beautiful granite or marble but the problem is that
its black. The floor is effectively a mirror. I love being able to SEE
my stall neighbor if I happen to look down.

The Tile Splashguard: Look at the waist-high wall separating the sinks
and urinals. Again, it's a beautiful setup ... but it barely covers
my junk. If there are two tall people next to each other, there is
definitely the threat of peripheral penis. I always wash my hands on
the middle sink and use the right-side urinal.

Maybe my follow up post will have a candid cell phone picture of
somebody while they're brown-berrying (also known as dingle-
berrying... which is what I call using the blackberry while on the
toilet). I'm taking credit for both terms unless somebody can prove
they came up with them!

Hitting up the BK to Rock the Rabbit

Lisa found a man that will stare lovingly into her eyes in an office in Williamsburg. I'm still looking for a bitch that can put up with my shit. We're in Brooklyn to talk about the marketing of Playboy's Rock the Rabbit. This was like a field trip for us... we're like lost tourists on the mean streets of BK. Eventually, we reached the office of plusonemusic, our PR team for Rock the Rabbit.

The meeting was in typical Brooklyn style. We went to a spot where the main draws were coffee/tea and cheese plates. We had to grab extra candles from other tables because it was so dark and we couldn't see our papers. I ordered a mate and it came in a giant teabag. The homemade teabag looks like something a drug mule would put in an orifice. The servers had exposed tattoos and facial piercings. We got shit done though. It was a good meeting.